Mi Casa Su Causality

anchorman-milk-was-a-bad-choice-300x239Selected pairing for this post: Enjoy!

Hey, thanks for having me over. I hope you don’t mind, but you did say, “Make yourself at home.”

So I:

  • Performed maximum quaffage on every partial bottle of whiskey.
  • Deleted all West Wing from your DVR and recorded a full season of Honey Boo Boo.
  • Adjusted the hot water heater to maximum.
  • Rubbed every towel on my butt rather than use toilet paper.
  • Let your cat outside.
  • Used your wi-fi to download the entire Metallica library with BitTorrents.
  • Dug your coffee can of cash out of the backyard.
  • Unlocked the windows and the side door on the garage.
  • Licked your ketchup bottle clean.
  • Went “two turntables and a microphone” on your collection of LPs.
  • Pushed over your hoarding piles in the garage and took a nap.
  • Spent your remaining iTunes balance on Demi Lovato.
  • Cleaned my genitals with your toothbrush.
  • Used your mom’s ashes to refill the litter box.

Don’t be angry. All of these are considered normal back home.

9 responses

  1. *snort*

    I miss you and your unrefined sense of the absurd and ridiculous.
    You’ve cut back on blogging. I get that.
    Just don’t ever leave Twitter. Not unless you stock pile tweets first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you don’t read my Twitter you’re not seeing all of me! Good advisory, public safety director.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Public safety director. Does this mean I get to frisk cute guys on demand?


  2. My cousin’s wife is peeved. The family left you in charge of their house in Toad Suck, Arkansas to visit relatives in Frog Not, Texas. You need to get your butt back over there tomorrow and help on the clean-up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Somehow I know this is the best comment of all time even if I don’t fully understand it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s a “hick thang” …actually, there really does exist a Toad Suck, Arkansas, and a Frognot (all one word, I cheated in the reply), Texas.

        One day I should write a post about my golden oldie days of being a telephone operator. Good heavens, you wouldn’t believe what this nation can offer up!


  3. Haha great post and pairing. Did you find the comic before you wrote it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thanks! 🙂 I actually found the comic after when I did an image search for “make yourself at home.” I always like to include at least one image with my posts.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am quite intrigued to witness such a day… And slightly wary of inviting you to a dinner party…

    Liked by 1 person

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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