Lost Works of Dr. Seuss – Excerpt

Lost works of Dr. Seuss have been popping up madly. I searched my attic and found one about neighbors acting badly. I don’t own the rights so I won’t be a millionaire. But on my blog under “fair use” claims I figured I would share.

Enjoy.

The Butthole Battle Book – Death to a Neighbor

Here’s a little story about a creature I abhor
A freak of nature who’s my closest neighbor

In his backyard late at night he’s yelllin’
Woke me from sleep when clock said 12:37

Wide awake – unable to go to sleep
I lay daydreaming schemin’ revenge on the creep

Passive-aggressive that’s the way for me
He’ll never ever know the source of his misery

One thing that’s good is dropping meth in his mail box
Then scurrying home and anonymous calling up the cops

Or being artistic and drawing messages in his grass
But rather than paint using a nice can of gas

I thought a giant slingshot might be a little funny
Using sneaking bombs made of nothing but honey

Don’t worry I’m not quite as bad as I’ve depicted
Instead I called his landlord and got him evicted

I’m not so sure that this was very prudent
The new neighbors turned out to be no improvement