Zombie Jesus wants you to sue

Do you have the right to put up Christmas decorations? Of course you do. We are a country based on property rights and religious freedom.

Unless your decorations go against the prevailing winds of the primary government-backed religion. Laws, yes.

A town is taking legal action against a homeowner because they do not like his zombie-themed nativity scene. They do not like it at all.

So they did what any government entity would do. They took out the rule book and dusted off every arcane statute they could find to hassle the guy.

That’s using the old noodle. Mmm, brains. Let us pray!

Police forces across our great nation are financially strapped and forced to cut and prioritize services, but do not worry. The city has code enforcement funding to protect us against zombie Jesus.

In other news, a woman who practices the Pastafarian religion recently won the right to wear a colander in her driver’s license photo. I think I’m in love.



11 responses

  1. I think zombie nativity should just be retitled as Mange in the Manger.

    Happy holidays to you and yours, Tom.


    1. Clever getting “mange” in there. That’s this year’s Christmas present. Hope yours was good, too! 🙂


  2. I gave up on political correctness when i woke up on Black Friday. It burndt my cinnamon buns that CyberMoney isn treated fairly, either. It should be know as Debit/ Credit FenzyDay. And Green Monday, who in their right minds has green, no matter what day of the week it is? If we could, we should rename it, Recycled Monday and clear out our closets and change name tags on those items we plan to regift.
    My plea could go on endlessly. I recently had blood work showing the seven different heritage lines. I’m considered Caucation, got some German and Scottish in the brew and a bit of Mediterranean (?), mainly i’m French , but hold onto your underpants. I have African blood and a tease of Nordic. This gives me the absolute right to declare this political correctness crap is a bunch of hooey. Let’s just put on our big girl panties, the men where their tidy-whities, and when we met up with the heathens, let’s all go after them full force. Believe me, the brainwashed fringe groups exist on every continent. Forget about news reports of danger and destruction. It’s time each of us claimed to be who we are, politically correct or not. If you are offended by what people say, sit with them and have an honest discussion. I’ll bet you have much that you agree upon, and somethings you don’t. I’m also betting you’ll each walk away appreciationing the diversity and your newly gained friendships.

    If you give up on learning. You give up on life. Don’t do that. We’ve slow learners sometimes, but we always win in brotherhood and sisterhood.

    I say Merry Christmas to all. If your holiday you rejoice differntly, stand proudly and confirm it! Please just alow me to br me, and likewise. Surely you think i’m crazy, well of course i am! I would have given up on mankind long ago, but there’s something wonderful that occurs when diversity walks in and understanding walks out, hand in hand.


    1. Thanks for your wonderful comment. I’m an atheist but I don’t hesitate to use the words “Merry Christmas.” It’s how I was raised even if I no longer buy into the whole program. We all have the right to our beliefs and there’s no need to be dicks to each other about it. If I choose not to use your holy words that doesn’t mean I’m at “war” with you. No more than when you tell me I’m going to Hell. So let us all be merry! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for such an eloquently written comment. To each, how own. May this world learn to become more eloquent, throw out assumptions and take the time to learn from one another.


  3. Don’t let Mrs. Abyss know you’re in love!! Happy holidays to you both. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trust me. She’ll never know. You think she reads anything in here?!? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Tom, I wish you and Mrs. Abyss the ooziest, gooiest, of holidays this Christmas. If in doubt about anything served to you this Christmas, shoot first, ask questions later. With much love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You successfully identified this year’s Christmas message. Good on you! Many happy returns.


  5. You had me at the title, but won me over (again) with “Ramen”.

    I agree that if that ordinance isn’t being enforced consistently I would be all over it too. Besides, you would think this would support the idea of Jesus rising again…and again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As a practicing Pastafarian I have to admit the “Ramen” thing wasn’t my invention. But I hope to soon be ordained in the faith. My colander is on order.

      Liked by 1 person

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