Monthly Archives: December, 2014

The Year In Re-Doo-Doo

I ain’t got the time or the inclination to make another year in review video. Maybe next year. Until then I’m recycling this garbage from two years ago. Use your God-given powers of imagination and relive 2014 Shouts From The Abyss classic moments like these:

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How To Get Away With Turder

special-diet-menu-labelsAt family gatherings we sort of take turns doing the cooking. In a nutshell, this basically means my wife does most of everything. When it comes to the kitchen she’s all about the get ‘er done.

I’m already thinking ahead to next Christmas and that I’ll likely make a dish. Perhaps something that I can’t pronounce like bolognese. Meat is definitely a requirement.

What happens when you try to come up with a menu to appease seven human beings, each with differing dietary restrictions, penchants, picadillos, likes, dislikes, preferences, predilections, disinclinations, propensities, and predispositions?

Answer: Exponential permutations.

Good news. It looks like we’ll only need 128 different dishes to satisfy everyone.

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unsubscribeCan you believe it’s already been four days since Christmas? That can only mean one thing: It’s time to get busy with the next holiday.

New Year? You’re up! My first resolution is to go Valentine’s Day shopping on January 2nd.

That means I’ve been thinking about resolutions. Let’s break it down.

The word is comprised of the Latin Greek words “re” (do over) and “solut” (ancient greeting) and “ions” (small particles).

I decided why wait so I already made one and having been acting upon it. And it has been a lot of fun.

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Nothing Behind You, Nothing In Sight

Song lyrics I didn’t write. But I like the mood.

Shouts from the Abyss

Nothing Behind You, Nothing In Sight
(Harlan Howard/Ron Peterson)

From Monday till Friday I sell my time
They just want my body; they don’t want my mind
Then I watch that old paycheck just slip through my hands
Can’t even afford cold beer with my friends

Ain’t that a hell of a way to live out your life?
Knowing all your tomorrows will be just alike?
When the worries have stolen the dreams from your mind
And there’s nothing behind you and nothing in sight

From daylight till midnight, her work goes on
Raising our children and making our home
She needs a new dress, but the money’s all gone
And what she needs most is some time all her own


And there’s nothing behind you & nothing in sight

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On being provocative

I come bearing reblog. I bring tidings of the NDT world.

Why Evolution Is True

by Grania

Neil deGrasse Tyson has at times been a little testy about the attention his atheism gets when he spends so much more time as a science educator; so when I saw this on Twitter yesterday:


At first I was all like:


But he was clearly on a roll, and now the story has gone viral being reported all  overtheplace.


My verdict: he’s funny and he’s right. So, bro fist!


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Guru Comic: Unfunny


Happy Holo-Days

Sadly, Christmas technology just isn’t there yet.

We’re still celebrating in the old old-fashioned way. The wheel. Analog travel. And at what cost? Jet lag. Transportation risks. Fights over sounds and smells. Great expense.

In the far future we’ll step into the transporter room, say “energize,” and all meet instantly at uncle Joe’s place in the Bavarian alps.

Assuming most of us won’t be around for the 23rd century, what the hell are we supposed to do in the meantime?

My idea for a short-term interim solution is the hologram Christmas. Imagine it. You finish the last season of your favorite show on Netflix, have a seat in the imagine chamber and voila, you’re magically in the living room sitting around the hearth with the rest of the fam.

Fa la la la la la la!

No mess. No fuss. No road rage. No dodging other drivers brandishing weapons. No worries about snow in the pass. It’s just a good as being there. Better, even.

The technology is almost there. We just need some holo imagers, holo emitters, contact lenses embedded with Google Glass, and sufficient bandwidth. I’ll bet clever programmers can even come up with realistic holo versions of our current level of tablet and phone technology, so we can all lose our faces in devices just like we already do. That’s authenticity.

Happy holo-days to you and yours and everyone you’re willing to interface with.