I have shared a version of this tale before. I apologize if I’m being too redundant. Hopefully the wrinkle of a new variant will make the retelling worthwhile.

My boss is such a douchewad I sometimes ask myself, “To be or not to be?” And by that, of course, I mean, “If I have to work here do I even want to exist at all?”

The backstory is this: The boss chewed out my ass because I (apparently) committed the most cardinal sin of all: Not making sure that all orders went out on the day they were received. My ass was handed to me for my lunch, and I responded, “Message received and understood.”

A few weeks later the boss had one of his many dipshit pet projects in the queue and he wanted it to be top priority. The customer orders, he explained, could wait, because, after all…