Dear Taco Bell
Remember the Black Taco? It came with something called “Volcano Sauce,” which, if memory serves, came from a new venereal disease which was caused by the Black Taco itself. I know, I know! It’s a Chicken and Egg type of thing. Best not to think about it too much. Somehow this piece of Classic Abyssicana circa 2009 never generated any comments? I think it was the internet’s way of telling me, “You can go to black taco shell!” That’s just cracked.
Dear Taco Bell,
I went in to buy a burrito. I had 89 cents from my piggy bank I had just smashed with a hammer when mom wasn’t looking. I also put a hole in the wall. All I wanted was a bean burrito. I was told I needed 10 more cents. Why can’t I has a bean burrito? Why?
From,
Timmy
P.S. God bless us, every one!
—
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your kind note. Have you tried our black taco?
We aren’t really sure why our Chicken Burrito costs only 89 cents but a Bean Burrito costs 99 cents. I guess we’re just a bunch of idiots.
Black taco-ly yours,
Ronald McTaco
P.S. The only God we recognize is black taco. Oh, and have we mentioned the black taco yet?
Pixelated Mail Delivery: The Cannes You Requested
Definitely an instance where less could be more.
An impromptu quickie post after I saw this headline in the Daily Mail:
Cannes you say blossoming new romance? Topless Amy Willerton cuddles up to mystery man clad in skimpy pink bikini pants during steamy French escape
–Daily Mail headline
The story was, of course, accompanied by pictures of a young woman with pixelated naked breasts.
This prompts several questions.
Is “Cannes” supposed to be some cutesy reference to female body parts?
Who or what is Amy Willerton?
Why is she topless? That must have been the “Steamy French Escape?” (An excellent movie, by the way.)
Why does she like to cuddle up to mystery men, specially those clad in skimpy pink bikini pants?
Inquiring minds want to know!
Source: Daily Mail
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments