Love Warcraft Style

I can show you the world … of warcraft.

Have you met that couple? You know the one. So oogly moogly in love that they shout it for all to hear, whether they want to know or not. “Look at us,” they emote. “We are the world’s greatest lovers. We’ll be together to infinity … and beyond!” Then comes more mushy stuff than you can shake a stick at.

Gag me.

They say that the stars that burn the brightest have the messiest divorces. (Or something like that.)

So how do you go from endless love to histrionics like this? (My emphasis added.)

Filled with absolute dread as I’ll soon be near that son of bitch in court.
–Social media update

I think it helps if you originally met in World Of Warcraft, the massively online multiplayer game.

I’ll never forget the day we met. The sun was setting as I rode hard across the Arathi Highlands. Stromgarde Keep was my goal. I was going to kill that usurper Lord Falconcrest once and for all. Involuntarily my exposed bones shivered at the mere thought of that son of a bitch. “For the Horde,” I screamed into the night.

But I did not yell alone. Surprised, my hand dropped warily to the hilt of my halberd and I turned and saw you. I looked into those dull, cow-like Tauren eyes and was gone. Totally gone. Together we stormed the keep and never looked back…

Bonus points if you get the Aladdin reference.