Daily Archives: July 3rd, 2014

Elvis lyrics translated into English

The sperm about to penetrate the ovum.

The lucky sperm about to penetrate the ovum.

I have decided, as a pubic service, to run some Elvis Presley lyrics through the universal translator. I hope you enjoy these as if hearing them for the first time.

Doubt my qualifications? Don’t. I was literally married under a velvet painting of Elvis in the Graceland Wedding Chapel, Las Vegas, Nevada. (But not to my wife, mind you.) I’m qualified enough.

Now bring on the big romantic ballads…

It’s Now Or Never

It’s now or never
(Daddy is in the mood)
Come hold me tight
(I will direct the action)
Kiss me my darling
(This had better be good)
Be mine tonight
(This will decidedly not be a long-term relationship)
Tomorrow will be too late
(Parts of me are feeling blue)
It’s now or never
(No promises after the booze wears off)
My love won’t wait
(There’s a BP situation in my pants)

Wasn’t that fun? Are you feeling all romantic? Make the jump and let’s do one more.
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