Poop tag scored! And check out the drool. This image is a win-win. And away we go…

I still wake up sometimes. I wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the IKEA FOOD restaurant.

There’s nothing quite like the tormented wails of tiny human miscreants especially when they are SEP (Someone Else’s Problem). Don’t leave home without it!

One thing is certain: Most parents are woefully ignorant of the true nature of their spawn.

But I’m an American and being ignorant is our God-given right! And, like most of the rights we cherish and hold most dear, don’t ever try to actually use them. Or even the inverse thereof.

Confused yet? Me, too. I should break out my calculator but this one time I won’t do that.

Long story short, a cafe owner recently caused an online fracas when, frustrated with the state of the hot mess…