Our scientists have made an interesting discovery: A hand-scrawled message, on a piece of yellowed and ruled piece of parchment, that we have dated as being approximately 10 years old.
There are a few interesting facts about this artifact:
- The artifact must be about 10 years old because, at the time of her wedding, my wife did, in fact, have a ring. This is proof the parchment predates the wedding.
- I had the prescience of thought to carefully preserve the artifact and keep it safe all this time. I must have recognized the cultural significance.
- No cameras from that time period are known to exist. Perhaps we’ll never know what prompted the author to put pen to paper.
- My wife’s bare finger is simply not that interesting.
Few artifacts from that time period are known to exist. As such we’ll be forwarding the piece on to the Smithsonian, NASA, Martha Stewart or any organization willing to accept it and keep it on display for the public to enjoy. We’re open to suggestions if they all turn us down.
Hmmm, she seems like a keeper because at the time, she wanted you to put your needs before hers. Of course, that may have just been a clever plot of hers to rope you into marriage (which we know worked).
Did I mention she’s the one who proposed?
And that wasn’t a warning sign???
You didn’t even listen to her then!
I’m willing to take any risk in the name of science.
An in-depth analysis of the handwriting indicates she was lying. And is still waiting for you to clue the fuck in. It’s all in the different “I” and “R” in the note.
Or she is affected by Multiple Personality Disorder. Which, if you play your cards right, could be a good thing.
I knew handwriting analysis would be a factor. I was betting on that.
Multiple Personality Disorder would certainly explain a lot.