Stark Market

This is what my home office looks like. That's my stunt double.

This is my home office. That’s my stunt double.

If you came here expecting to learn about Winterfell please hold still while my dire wolves rip out your throat. For the rest of us, it’s time to explore the heady world of the stock market and high finance. BYOC. (Bring Your Own Cocaine.)

After yesterday’s false cheer I feel so dirty. It’s time to come clean. I’m gonna tell you how the shit works. All of it.

Disclaimer: I’m not big on introspection. I have never taken stock. I’m just a humble social scientist. These are my findings.

Allow me to introduce GUNT. That stands for Grand Unified Negativity Theory. GUNT is my life’s work. It’s a model that attempts to explain the sum total of human behavior.

GUNT. Say it with me. G-U-N-T. It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? And it’s all mine!

A huge part of GUNT is something I call Gaming Theory. This is decidedly not to be confused with Game Theory which is something else entirely (coincidentally a branch of economics for which eight Nobel prizes have been awarded).

GUNT predicts that I’ll never be recognized for my work, but that’s just me. Perhaps I’m being negative.

Perhaps it will help to start by showing some every day examples of GUNT:

  • Who is cheating in sport? Start with the winner. See: Armstrong, Lance.
  • Who are the absolute worst people to have children? See: Parents.
  • What is a system that exists to funnel wealth from the poor to the wealthy? See: Money, currency.

In short, GUNT predicts that every possible human activity will be manipulated (gamed) to the advantage of some at the detriment of others. Money, power, wealth, privilege, justice, law, medicine, food, sport, entertainment, music, arts, literature, philosophy, religion, charities, etc. It’s all subject to GUNT.

For example, let’s take a look at the stock market. This is a human-created system so it is subject to GUNT. Like all systems it has it’s own set of rules. Rules is the means by which the gamers are separated from the fish.

Ostensibly the act of “insider trading” is forbidden. This peculiarity only exists to entice and confuse the fish. Without unwitting participants a gamed system will produce no results.

In fact, a system like the stock market functions exclusively on insider trading. It’s the only viable component beyond the fish canning facility.

The TV show 60 Minutes did a story last Sunday night about the stock market. It’s basically peer review of my results.

Steve Kroft: What’s the headline here?

Michael Lewis: Stock market’s rigged. The United States stock market, the most iconic market in global capitalism is rigged.

Steve Kroft: By whom?

Michael Lewis: By a combination of these stock exchanges, the big Wall Street banks and high-frequency traders.

Steve Kroft: Who are the victims?

Michael Lewis: Everybody who has an investment in the stock market.

Source: – Is The U.S. Stock Market Rigged?

They took a simplistic approach, focused on “high-frequency transactions,” but yeah, they seem to understand the wee tip of the iceberg named GUNT. It’s the one theory that takes into account all facets of human behavior.

Can you name other examples of GUNT? Have you experienced it yourself? Please share your data in the comments section below.

8 responses

  1. I thought of a couple more examples of highly-manipulated things:

    Restaurant review sites, like Yelp
    App Store rankings

    Basically any place where cheating can give a competitive edge.


  2. Oh the courts are for sure. A well connected person walks for what the average joe does time for.

    I agree with the GUNT concept, but the term seems rigged to be misunderstood and blow up in the speakers face.


    1. I suggest you start small when using the term. Perhaps in a TEDx presentation or other symposia. Scientists are not responsible for the acronyms formed by their research.


  3. Any person who can make me lol at 7:13am EST is a wizard. Tom and omawarisan are Harry and Ron.


    1. I don’t get this Harry and Ron reference. Something to do with Happy Days? I’m pretty sure Oma is the Fonz. I can’t wait, so I’m going to ask my neighbor Mrs. Norris if she knows.


  4. I wasn’t around much last week but thanks for the Shouts-Out! (Get it, Shouts Out? I made that up just now.)

    I wonder how many new followers this post will get me? Oh wait, it’s been a week. I know that answer. :-/


    1. Don’t take it personally. I always shout.

      I imagine by now you’ve earned lots of imaginary stuff called “money” just because I dropped your name. It still amazes me that I can take 99 of these fake pennies and someone is willing to trade two tacos for them. Don’t they know the system is gamed? Whatever. Because, delicious.


  5. […] is all, of course, predicted by GUNT, my Grand Unification Negativity Theory for […]


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