Bridges and Icebergs

icebergThis right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that

Recognize a real dime
When you see mine
And don’t try to be one
You fuckin peon
I been like Deion for eons
You ain’t nuttin but a biotch
Messed around and let me read up
I come back through and tear the street up

What did Chris Christie know and when did he know it? Did he order the code red? Can we handle the truth?

This post will explore none of those questions.

A recent poll found that 42 percent of Americans believe Christie has been telling the truth about “Bridgegate” and 44 percent believe he is not. The poll had a margin of error of about 3.5 percent. In other words, we’re not sure.

That makes sense because only those who know really know. For the rest of us, it’s just conjecture and opinion.

But, perhaps, will can still draw some conclusions. Let’s try.

For instance, let’s say we lift up a rock and see a potato bug. A single, solitary wiggly potato bug on freshly exposed earth who suddenly feels very unsure of his status in the universe. What can we make of this?

Is he the only one? Might there be more, perhaps if we lift more rocks? Which is the simplest explanation?

I submit that the simplest explanation is that where there is one it is likely there are more. The alternative is that what you see is a one-time-only occurrence which, although possible, may not be the most probable possibility.

If this line of reasoning holds water, then perhaps our inquisitiveness about things like Bridgegate should explore a totally different direction.

In other words, what if Bridgegate is just the tip of the iceberg?

A typical iceberg comprised of frozen water will sit in sea water with about one-tenth above water and the rest below. That’s because the density of ice is less than that of sea water so the iceberg floats.

If we apply these two ideas (simplest explanations/icebergs) to something like Bridgegate, what do we get? Holy shit, what if Bridgegate is just the tip of the iceberg? What if shit like this goes on all the time?

What might that look like?

Government is not easy. I think we all get that. Now, think of all the messed up shit you’ve ever seen from the government including FUBARs, SNAFUs, WTFs and STFUs.

What if 90% of everything the government screws up turned out to be deliberate? That’s a fucked up thought, isn’t it?

Maybe someone wrote those tax booklet instructions on purpose to get even with someone else. It could happen!

Just how far can this line of reasoning be taken? I can only wonder. Once I get an idea in my head it can be hard to get out. Now I see this everywhere. The traffic lights are out of sync causing all kinds of ridiculous snarls? I wonder who pissed off the mayor?

Stock market took a wee unusual downtick and you lost your shirt? I wonder if that was aimed at you or if you were just collateral damage?

Air traffic controllers asleep on the job? Ha ha! Happy landings! Say hello to the ground for me!

Here’s a little known fact: Prohibition was the result of one government official refusing to pay off the traditional Super Bowl bet to another. I think it was a bushel of Georgia peaches or maybe a case of Tennessee whiskey.

It turns out the entire TSA scanner program was implemented because one government official wanted to see another official’s wife naked and didn’t know which flight she’d be taking.

How about the time the government gave sex abuse victims to the telephone number to an X-rated phone sex hotline? You thought that was an accident?

The IRS published tens of thousands of Social Security numbers on a website? Personally, in this particular case, I support the lone database admin theory. He was on a grassy knoll with his wifi laptop eating a sandwich.

Next time the government drops the ball, don’t just assume they are inept. Speculate about who got their Wheaties pissed in. Nine times out of ten the answer just might surprise you. Those icebergs, they can be sneaky.

Can you think of any other examples of governmental behavior that just might have been on purpose? And can you speculate who did what to whom and for how many cookies that might have caused it in the first place? Use the comments section below.

11 responses

  1. I’m pretty sure everything gov’t does is to further their personal vendetta against me.


    1. You have fallen into the trap of taking government personal. Well done.


  2. His first name is not so hidden in his second name.
    An obvious case of iceberg.


    1. Dictionary. christiefication – see iceberging.


  3. Having been born and raised in The Garden State, I sincerely hope that the governor was trying to screw over his political enemies — I mean, it’s NEW JERSEY. The state motto is incoherent swearing at strangers.

    I was thinking about your question at the end and the one that I come up with is the bridge over to Coronado. There were tolls taken that were supposed to cover the construction cost of the bridge. But the tolls stayed long after that was covered. It took a citizen’s group to sue for the contract to be upheld and the tolls are down — but my guess is the status of the tolls was NOT an oversight, but some greedy so-and-so figuring out that the gov’t had a “free” revenue stream, so why give it up — maybe no one will notice. Fortunately, someone finally remembered.


    1. I’ve been across that bridge many times. I always payed the toll. I’ve seen this phenomenon at the local level. Some governing body wants XYZ (like a “temporary” toll on a bridge) but digs in their heels at the idea of a sunset clause. The populace naturally says WTF and the body is all butt hurt like, “What? Don’t you trust us?”

      “Actually, no. Every single time before you snaked us.”

      “That was then. We won’t do it this time.”

      “Even if we believed you, you’ll be long gone by the time this kicks in. And what has every governing body since the dawn of time said when it’s their turn? ‘We don’t have to be bound by the decisions of the previous boards, yada yada yada’ a million times on steroids. A sunset clause is the only force in the universe that offers a glimmer of a chance that what you say will happen might actually happen.”

      “There’s just no talking to you! Public comment is over! I call the question. Vote. Done.”

      I’m glad the tale of the Coronado Bridge had a happy ending and I think it’s a perfect example of this sort of iceberg thing.


  4. In the eternal(ly cynical) words of Shawn Colvin, “Nothing surprises me anymore.”


    1. So true. The most shocking news comes out and I just shrug and say, “Meh.” Maybe I didn’t predict that exact thing but on the other hand I’m totally and completely without shock. When the shock becomes the new norm it’s no longer shocking.


  5. Snoring Dog Studio | Reply

    People being vindictive?! No way! Yeah, a lot of it’s possible given that most adults are little children in big people clothes. Frankly, I’m 99.9% certain that Christie knew everything. He might not have instigated it, but he went along with it. And the Republican candidate circus begins.


    1. In the movies the mafia boss doesn’t actually say the words. With a certain glint in his eye the message gets communicated. The kibosh is on. Message received and understood. Then they act like if the words never actually got said out loud it wasn’t really his decision. That’s also a great prism for understanding humanity.

      I like being 99.9% certain. It’s a real confidence boost.


  6. […] best post of the year (based on view count) actually written by me was Bridges and Icebergs (about the Chris Christie scandal) in […]


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