Tales of the Webmaster


Let’s start with an exceedingly simple logic proof:

  • Hell is other people.
  • Clients are people.
  • Clients are Hell.

Now we move on to the following creepy tales of horror. These are true stories that actually happened. You have been warned.

Scenario: Wrong Number

Five years ago…

Client: Please enter this phone number on the website, here, here and here.

Webmaster: Done! Additionally, here is a link to a tool that will allow you to easily edit the phone number yourself, if the need should ever arise.

Present day:

Client: The phone number on the website is wrong!!!

Scenario: Garbage In Garbage Out (GIGO)

One year ago…

Client: Here are 42 exacting design criteria for system flow.

Webmaster: Done!

Present day:

Client: I don’t like the output!!!

Scenario: After Hours

Client: The hours should be in Eastern time. Ex: 11am to 8pm Eastern.

Webmaster: Done!

Client’s Wife: The hours should in Pacific time.

Webmaster: Page revised to say “8am to 5pm Pacific.”

Client: Why does the website say Pacific time?

Webmaster: *sigh*

Scenario: Celebrate Success

Webmaster: Hey, check it out. I made the website do this fantastically cool and complicated thing.

Client: I don’t like the color.

4 responses

  1. I recently did a web and logo redesign with a media contractor. I’m sure he wouldn’t have anything like this to say about me.

    Well, pretty sure.


    1. Demon clients have a remarkable lack of self-awareness and intelligence. I highly doubt that’s you! 🙂


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