Hi I’m Tom B. Taker

Source: Photo Monkey (Flickr)

Source: Photo Monkey (Flickr)

I’m a guru of negativity. I love avoiding people, spending time with my cats, volunteering for one-way missions to Mars and eating tamed jalapeños.

I’m Tom B. Taker and I’m an Atheist.

About Me

When I was young, growing up was hard. On all of us. But especially me. Every day I’d wake up one day older and closer to death. It was during those years that I originally learned that negative thoughts could ensconce and protect me like a warm blanket of pee.

At an early age I was told I would never amount to anything. I adopted that as a core value and proved the naysayers right. I listened to voices in my head, lived my life accordingly, and earned a lot of “participant” ribbons along the way.

Since then, I have learned the most humans are truly despicable creatures. Since the age of 16 I have pursued my dream of being oppressed and discovering everything that is shitty about the workplace and bosses. When it comes to experiencing the underbelly of capitalism and arcane power-based relationships in the quest for the acquisition of wealth I am proud to say of my career, “Mission Accomplished!”

Why I am an Atheist

I realized pretty early on what a force religion could be and when I saw how that force worked, I realized I wanted no part of it. After a time in my life where I’d believe almost anything and fell for several different religions in quick succession, I sobered up and realized that none of that stuff ever felt right to me. I simply didn’t believe. Over time I learned that this sort of belief was known as atheism and I took to it like a tormented parent forced to kill a demon-possessed child. The more I paid attention to the world around me and how it worked the stronger my faith became.

Also, that whole “I’m a Mormon” campaign thing. That pretty much pushed me over the edge. Like the media blitz they are currently conducting in London tube stations and buses. Wondering in awe at one of the most secretive organizations in the world spending so much wealth on advertising helped answer a lot of my questions.

How I live my faith

Unlike my faithful friends across the aisle, I try to treat each person I meet with dignity and respect. One way I do this is by not shoving my beliefs down their throat. Like an idiot, I also strive to live by the golden rule, even to the folks who always seem so busy yet always willing to take the time to tell me how, one day, I’ll be rotting in Hell. I foolishly believe that this world should be as good and fair as possible for all people, and not just a privileged few.

Rather than believe everything I hear, I embrace the principles of logic and science, and attempt to be a critical thinker when analyzing the world around me. My goal is to see the world and all of reality as it is, unfiltered by dogma, programming, parental garbage, and cultural idiosyncrasies, and so-called ancient wisdoms passed down from generation to generation.

Tom B. Taker lives in an abandoned lighthouse in Oklahoma with his two cats and enjoys eating Mexican food.

9 responses

  1. You kill me! I believe religion is horrible, so warped in man’s vision of what truth is — but I do believe in God. I do believe in something else beyond this life. And I certainly believe in Science and the connection between the two.

    And I don’t know about your so-called negativity. Hmmm. I don’t want to mess with your “rep” and all — but the cool thing about your style, is that in all the yukkiness, you’re always making a valid point of betterment. Of how we can do better, be better — or in most cases, how your boss can (that fucker!). 🙂

    Love your posts. Love this one too.

    I know you’re a big ‘ole meanie. sorta.



    1. Aw, thanks! I sort of agonized over this one. In the end, I just shrugged and said, “What the hell?” and clicked the publish button. Besides, it was after my deadline and I had nothing else prepared. 🙂

      There’s supposed to be an element of humor in there somewhere. Some days I go deeper than others.

      And yeah, oh perceptive one, I do believe in the betterment of all, in the elevation of the human condition. Call me a fool! 🙂


    1. That’s Stronzo to you.


  2. You are so deep.

    And with this comment, Blogdramedy fills up the recent comment board. She’ll be signing autographs in the back of Tom’s Dinner after closing.


    1. I am deep. In the video (coming soon) I show you other interesting things like how I bag my groceries, starting my car, resting my chin on my hand while playing chess and, for the coup de grâce, which hand I prefer to use when going to the bathroom.

      Then I look directly into the camera and exclaim, “I’m an atheist!”


  3. Here’s an interesting discussion among atheists. http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/heretic_707692.html

    I’m possibly a Possibilian http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Possibilianism You have taken a stand out of faith. I’m too wobbly to take any stands. Therefore, I’m sitting this one out.

    I’m going to live as if life has some meaning as you have chosen to do. I just choose to believe there’s possibly more to this world than meets the test tube. 😉


    1. Are you volunteering to direct my “I’m an Atheist” video? That would rock. Oh the possibilities! 🙂

      The article about “manifest image” is interesting but too deep. It makes my head feel funny. Maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe it is what it is.

      We’re almost the same. I’m a Pastafarian. I’m looking forward to meeting you at the Faiths That Start With P conference. I’m just sick of the Protestants dominating the damn thing year after year.

      Yes, life should have more meaning, whether there is a deity or not. That’s why I favor secular humanism. I believe we should strive for the betterment of all, to improve the human condition.


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