Killing Time
Just how far am I willing to go for you, the intrepid reader? Oh how you’ve been made to suffer. I decided to do you a solid. Hey, it’s my way of saying thanks for being here. But how? Where and when?
The opportunity at time travel recently fell into my lap. The dictates of the space-time continuum prohibit me from saying how exactly, but I can say this much: It was a one-time opportunity and I take some time to think about how to use it wisely.
I proceeded with caution. After all, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the utter destruction of the entire universe. At least that’s what I thought at the time. On second thought, it would get a bunch of assholes permanently out of my hair. Hmmm.
No! Don’t even think it! Stick to the objective. This is about my reader, not personal satisfaction. This is no time to be more narcissistic than usual.
Formulating a plan, I knew the limits of the trip. It would be a quick jump a mere 24 hours into the future. I’d literally be a man before my time. And I resolved to make the most of it.
There had to be a way to give my reader a little payback. I resolved to find a way how. If only I had more time…
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The French Predilection
This post is dedicated to a friend of a friend. You know who you are…
Team America is about to unload a can of whoop-ass-sized Freedom Fries ™ on your Roquefort. Yeeeeeeee-haw!
U.S. CEO Blasts French Work Habits
–A frothy headline from the “We Hate Obama’s Guts” edition of the Wall Street Journal
Can I re-write the headline?
U.S. Money Eater Blasts Cheese Eaters, Claims Currency Is ‘Ten Times More Delicious’ Than Fromage
—The Daily Abyssian Union Picayune Herald Register Times Tribune Weekly
Roquefort is under attack. Roquefort will be defended!!!
It all started when the CEO of a U.S. tire manufacturer published a letter in a French newspaper criticizing the work habits of French workers and, responding to the notion of buying a former Goodyear tire plant, stating: “How stupid do you think we are?”
To be honest, I’d happily respond to that question but I doubt he’d be able to understand the answer. Héh héh héh héh héh!!!
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Wake Me Up Before I Go-Go
Death At A Funeral
This post thoughtfully combines two exciting topics into one. Think of it like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup full o’ love. I hate peanut butter. Why ruin it with chocolate? But I digress.
I’ve always wanted to plan my own wake. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. And this weekend I walked out on a funeral. Is there a way I can merge these ideas in a single blogging experience?
Let’s try!
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Heartless Jerks
A sign that caught my eye while out for a drive. I am a sign photographer extraordinaire.
Massive Aggressive
Note to self: Save this as a draft. Not ready for prime time yet! Perhaps it’ll make a post someday. It’s a good start, just needs to be a bit longer. Which direction should it go? Tantalizing possibilities here. Perhaps a bit too positive. Make it more edgy. Better use caution. Goal: 42 more verses. And a chorus. Don’t forget LSD.
Ain’t nobody gonna push me around
My feet are planted and my fists are coming down
If you ever try to penetrate this zone
I’ll put in you a bag and send your body home
Shouts from the Abyss 
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