BlogFestivus – Day Nine: And to all a good night!

blogfestivus-20122And to all a good night!
by Tom B. Taker

Just off a frantic Buenos Aires street was a small avenue no one ever noticed. It was the dog days of summer and heat was rising up from the asphalt. Along the avenue was a café where a reindeer named Rudolph sat alone at a corner table. A straw fedora was pulled low and obscured his face. He was sipping a mojito. The day’s edition of La Nación was folded across his lap.

On the table was a can of Barbasol shaving cream. No one seemed to think that was odd.

The waiter approached and delivered a dish of cannoli. “On the house, señor.” Startled, Rudolph went ramrod erect and frantically looked around. As his nose sniffed for danger it flashed brilliantly through several shades of angry crimson.

imgresSatisfied there was no immediate threat, Rudolph casually felt under the table. There, amidst the gum, was an envelope. He deftly detached it and slid it into the newspaper. Using the paper as a blind, Rudolph opened the envelope and read the note inside.

“You can do the job when you’re in town.”

Shit. Reactivated! Rudolph had feared this day might come. He had always known there might be one last job. That last bit of business with Gepetto went sideways, what a mess that was, no lie! The Toy Cartel didn’t play games.

Rudolph shook the envelope and a photograph tumbled out.

Oh shit. Jolly man, red suit. It was the Fat Man himself!

This post is part of Blogdramedy’s 2012 BlogFestivus challenge where festivants are cajoled and harassed into writing nine stories in nine days about nine reindeers. Each story has to be exactly 243 words in length. Happy Festivus to all!

17 responses

  1. Well, you started strong and the ending… brilliant! I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts. 😉


    1. Hey, thanks! I’ll be by to finish reading yours asap. Now that it’s over I plan to get all caught up on everyone else’s. I still have something to look forward to! 🙂

      Thanks for the super nice compliment.


  2. You da man. You da Hoff-man. David better watch out. He better not shout. Cause you could write him right out.

    As always, it was a thrill to see what comes out of your brain. Thankfully, relatively poop-free this year.

    This last one was my favorite. 🙂


    1. Hoff we go, ho ho ho!
      Me and Hoff under the mistletoe!

      It must have been all of the Bean-O and Preparation H eggnog cocktails that kept me going.

      Thanks for the kind words. BlogFestivus turned out to be a lot of fun. How did I ever doubt you? I’ll be by soonest to see how your epic tale concludes. I’m just like a kid before Christmas waiting to find out!


  3. Just like BlogFestivus, an offer that couldn’t be refused. 🙂


    1. Brilliant. You don’t disrespect the Blogfather.


  4. Don’t cry for me Argentinian reindeer, with the roja schnoz.


    1. I desperately wanted to include the phrase “Don’t cry for me Argentina” but alas, it was not meant to be, amigo.


      1. It’s tough keeping under 243. I really enjoyed the idea of an inconspicuous hit man having a glow in the dark nose.


  5. Was he smuggling extinct elf DNA in the Barbasol can? And the cannolis were a nice touch.


    1. Damn, even though I forgot the “jurrasic” tag you still got it done. Nice. 🙂 Elves in amber. That’s the vision in my head.

      You just can’t be Christmas cannoli. Like momma used to make. Forget the presents, leave the cannoli. 🙂


      1. I’m a “clever girl,” Shouts.


      2. We are being hunted.

        I use that “clever girl” line on Mrs. Abyss all the time! 🙂

        Muldoon rocks!


  6. “You can do the job when you’re in town.” Now I’ve got the song stuck in my head.

    Was the Barbasol can a reference to Jurassic Park? Maybe Rudolph can use a dinosaur to “do the job.”


    1. Yes, it was. Good catch! 🙂


  7. Reblogged this on Shouts from the Abyss and commented:

    In honor of Snowmegeddon here’s a flashback to BlogFestivus of yesteryear courtesy of the Random Post function. It’s a regurgitation snow job.


  8. […] another note, fellow WordPresser Tom Taker of Shouts from the Abyss reposted one of his submissions for BlogFestivus 2012. [Make sure you visit his gangster […]


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