Sorry Miserable Squashed Thing

thickest-burgerThis post is multi-media-yo. I’m about to explode some special sauce in your direction. Yum-o!

It all started with the Big Carl from Carl’s Jr. No, I’ve never eaten one. I don’t have that kind of free time. But it did get my creative juices flowing.

I saw the “Big Carl” on TV and it was bragging about being bigger than a “Big Mac.” I was curious so I googled it. That’s when I found The Website. Quite likely one of the most glorious things I’d ever seen.

This dude wanted the truth. He went and exploded the scientific method on that shit. He weighed them. He tested. He did comparisons. It is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever read and it cut through the bull in an attempt to answer the question: Companies wouldn’t lie in a television commercial, would they?

He tried his best, but in his laboratory the Big Carl just didn’t measure up. He even enlisted the help of a Carl’s Jr. manager but the dufus wouldn’t play along. “A customer wants our burger served without wrapping of any kind? And on their own plate? I think that violates corporate policy.”

You have got to see how this turns out.

The website: Big Mac vs. Big Carl

You don’t have a mom
You don’t have a daddy
You’re just a bun and an all-beef patty
You’re a hamburger!

You can’t read a book
’cause you don’t have eyes
But you go real good with a Coke and fries
You’re a hamburger!

7 responses

  1. This is especially fun if you turn all four videos on at once…ha.


    1. All four at once? That’s a very strange supersize.


  2. So let me guess…you’re eating meat again.


    1. Good guess. What gave it away?

      And it is glorious. The other day I saw something called a Bacon Melt. A BACON MELT!!!

      But I’ve got this nagging feeling that I’m doing the wrong thing and thinking about going back. Bring back the tofu and the seitan.


  3. That was too funny! Here’s the thing, I just HAD to eat from McDonald’s the other day — in the middle of moving, no food in the new place and going back and forth I’d forgotten to eat, then…I saw the golden sign…. I know they say it’s so bad for you – -but goodness Lord forgive me, it was absolutely delicious! I sat in my car and ate my food and for the first time in a long time, really took my time eating and enjoyed every single bite. ..and them fries? Hollar! Carl’s Jr.? Not a fan. Never been really. Or I don’t remember much if I did. Plus, they always have those stupid commercials with women always rubbing up against each other eating some ridiculously large sandwich. I’m sure it gets the boys going, but it just rings lame to me so… not a fan.

    Now, if they want to oil up some hot stud, maybe I’d give it a try? Uhm, naaahh,,,,I’ll stick with Mickey Dees.

    Bacon Melt? Sounds heavenly! Yum!


    1. Since I fell off the meat wagon I’ve had exactly one Big Mac. I also tried some CBO type of thingie because I had a coupon. Both were pretty good. I got the Big Mac at exactly 10:30am so I know it was fresh.

      I wrote a blog post complaining about Carl’s Jr. commercials way back in the 90’s before blogging became cool. I may have it archived somewhere. At least it’s nice to know I can be consistent. 🙂

      I’d never heard of a bacon melt before. Something tells me it’s probably not the healthiest lunch around.

      And, you won’t believe this, but I was thinking about you right before you posted. Too weird! 🙂


  4. YouTube hosed me on one of the awesome videos and I can’t find another source.

    This backup video has been pressed into service. Enjoy!


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: