Lord of the Challenges

Like a knee-jerk fool on the kindergarten playground who was just double-dog-dared, I have accepted yet another challenge that was issued in my general direction. I can’t help myself. I am unable to say “no.”

Oh God.

What is it about me and challenges? They buzz about me like flies and, therefore, I must be their Lord. Or something like that.

So be it.

As you read the following, please do try to remember that someone out there asked for it. Blame them, not me!

Oh, wait. Now I remember who it was.

Why, it’s my old friend rewind revise, one of the few people I follow on Twitter. That makes her a member of a very elite group. Little did I know that when I accepted this challenge that her wedding is also only a few short days away. So this is a doubly serendipitous occasion. This post is my gift to the happy couple. Too bad for them, because they could have had a toaster!

1. What do you say when someone sneezes and do you expect them to say thank you in return?

Oh my. This is all rather personal, isn’t it? I usually say a prayer and drink to world peace. (That’s from Groundhog Day. I thought I was going to be able to answer the questions from her blog post, dammit.)

I always say, “God bless you.” Wacky for an atheist, right? Saying “gesundheit” is just too much damn work and, let’s be honest, feels a little pretentious. And I always wait for all three sneezes to be completed before I say anything. What do I expect in return? Just the word “thanks” which sadly almost never occurs.

2. If you could invite any seven people to dinner (alive or dead, fictional or real) who would it be?

Seriously? I’m expected to think this damn much? Grrr. I think it depends on my mood and my expectations for the meal. Do I want high-jinx?  Deep thoughts? Sushi served from the naked body of a lady? Classy!

The Dali Lama, Christopher Hitchens, Albert Einstein, Christa McAuliffe, Amelia Earhart, Gloria Steinem, and Thomas Jefferson. I must be in the mood for light chit chat over a light meal of amuse-bouche courses.

3. Favorite fictional character from a book?

There are so many, but I’d have to go with Dirk Pitt, the man from N.U.M.A., a sort of James Bond of the seas, featured in so many books from Clive Cussler including Raise the Titanic long before raising the Titanic was fashionable. Trivial Factoid: An old friend used to call him “Dick Spit.” (I don’t know why that’s important to know.)

4. Favorite Fairy Tale?

Erm. What? Say what?? Oh no you dint! I guess I should have read the fine print before accepting this challenge.

Perhaps the one where the scorpion gives the frog a piggyback ride across the river but stings him half-way. Technically that’s a fable but I need a little wiggle room on this one. Spoiler alert: They both die.

5. If you could say one thing to America, what would it be?

STOP. PAY ATTENTION. That is our one job as human beings in this world… to pay attention. Look up. Read the signs. Accept the truths you wish were untrue. No one changes another. Change comes from within.

Source: Blogdramdy Blog by rewind revise.

6. How would you like to be remembered?

I’ve written so many tombstones for myself. I’ve waited my entire life for this moment. Finally, someone asked!

I’d like to be remembered as someone who was honest, ethical, cared about other people, and caused the bare minimum of pain.

7. If you could have experienced another time period, which would you choose?

Lt. JG Taker, ethnobotanist, currently assigned to Stellar Cartography, USS Enterprise, Stardate 42.7734.

8. Desert island question – one food, one friend, one movie…who/what would you pick?

Chicken. My wife, since there is no one else I’d rather share this planet with. The movie? Now that is a toughie. Probably God Bless America so I’d feel even more blessed that we were all alone. That and it’s tons and tons of giggles.

9. If you could pick only one mode of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?

As much as I’d love to say “mobility device” (with drinker holder) but I’d have to say my very own feet. If I live properly I’ll always have the latter and never need the former.

10. Name three places you need to go to before you die.

Would it be cheating to say “outside of city limits three times?” You know, like, I don’t get out much. Paris, obviously. I feel the need to put four years of French class to good use. I know how to say, “Where is the bathroom?”

I’ve always wanted to go someplace tropical where the water is clear and warm enough to dive without a wet suit. Hawaii would probably suffice but I usually dream about places more exotic and remote, like tiny islands in the middle of nowhere that no one knows exist. I’ve never ventured very far from the 45th parallel. Chilly.

The coast of Italy. A month-long unhurried trip wandering from village to village. Soaking up everything from the wineries, beaches, and family-owned restaurants.

11. Tell me about a time when a teacher truly inspired you.

High school. I was fortunate to go to an excellent small town public school where I received what I consider to be an excellent education. (Some smart ass challenged me to prove it, since I don’t have anything to compare it with. I still feel I’m right.) Three teachers in particular were very inspirational and gave me a lifelong interest for music, physics, math, and computer science. I feel very lucky that most of my teachers were truly exceptional people.


That mostly concludes the challenge criteria:

  • Answer 11 questions
  • Create 11 new question
  • Tag 11 brilliant minds you’d like to pick to answer them
  • Feel the creative juices flow

I’ll probably skip the rest, especially that last one. Thanks for singling me out, rewind revise!

4 responses

  1. Excellent! I am so doing this one. But only the 11 questions by Lindsey. I have my BOOBS! and that’s enough for me. But if I absolutely had to pass this on to someone…I’d pass it on to you. 🙂

    But since you’ve beaten me to the punch (as usual) I’m in the clear.

    Who’s going to Italy? ME. I’ll tell you all about it.


    1. Yeah, I was going to pick you as one of the 11 brilliant minds I was supposed to chain this to. Yeah, right. I was gonna I swear.

      I laid in bed thinking about the 11 questions Lindsay got to answer. I spent a lot of time on the movie quote thing, because I drop a lot of movie quotes. I had it all figured out. That’s when I realized I got to answer 11 different questions. Figures.

      Yes, I do believe this challenge has a double-indemnity clause. Denied!

      I look forward to seeing your challenge response and hearing about your trip. Wouldn’t it be something if we bumped into each other in a small Italian coastal village. Expect me.


  2. Nicely done! Now I feel like I’m behind schedule. Loved your choice of fable, which reminded me it was you.


    1. Thanks! I may have broken the spirit of the challenge there but hey. Like the scorpion it is my nature.


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