The Strife of Pi: Things To Do At 3:14 a.m.

Old Folks Pie ChartSlowly I became aware that I must be awake. It was a very gradual thing. Once consciousness was certain I resolved to seek more information. With herculean effort I pushed with all my might and rolled my body over. Glowing red numbers swam in front of my eyes until they finally resolved into something readable.


I moaned in dispair.

Top Ten Things To Do At 3:14 a.m.

10. Hang a-round
9. Make pie charts
8. Sort penny collection by cut, color and clarity
7. Imagine you’re funnier that you really are
6. Finally check out that Farmville thing
5. Stealthily record audio of snoring spouse
4. Google Image Search the word “pi” and marvel at the number of pie images (get it?)
3. Fantasize about Tequila but don’t have the guts
2. Speculate about origins of crashing noises outside my window
1. Eat real pie

9 responses

  1. Stay away from Farmville! Very wise not to do tequila shots at 3:14 a.m., too. No good can come from recording snoring spouse. Don’t investigate crashing noises, but keep a can of wasp spray handy if crasher bursts into house. Eating pie is good. What is your favorite?


  2. LOL! Don’t worry. I’d rather die than start down the path of Farmville. It leads to the Dark Side. I do play “Tapped Out” starring The Simpsons, though, but I’ve never paid real money for a donut.

    3:14 feels more “early morning” than “late evening” so using tequila as a sleep aid is probably out. Unless I want to be snockered for work. Um, yeah!

    I figured it would be fitting to record some audio of the Mrs. because I pretty much blame her for me being here. When I tried to sneak out of bed so woke up and said, “What are you doing?” I snarled back, “Getting away from you!”

    J/K. πŸ™‚

    The crashing noises turned out to be the garbage truck. Now I know when they slink around in the dead of night. Unless burglars come with that backing up “beep beep beep” noise.

    I’m not so sure I have a favorite pie. I like them all. Perhaps fresh pumpkin pie with whipped cream. It’s both fun to make and eat.


  3. Hey, if it ends in pie, I guess we can overlook the skipping of tequila.


    1. You’ve given me an idea. You’d never guess that it is Tequila Pie. I once had a dream where I was on Iron Chef America and the secret ingredient was tequila. I stared down the other contestant and said, “This shit just got real.”


      1. I would watch that episode, hoping the Chairman got hammered and threw down with Morimoto.


  4. At 3.14am – listen to the radio. There’s a good overnight show called Up All Night – presenters Rhod Sharp and Dotun Adebayo. It’s a BBC show. Worth trying.


    1. Hey, thanks! I’ll check that out. I don’t watch commercial television any more so that will be a welcome diversion.


  5. When in doubt, always go for the alcohol. It’s never too early…or too late. πŸ™‚


    1. I have to admit I struggled on this one. On one hand it was late at night. On the other it sure felt like early morning.

      In the end my desire to be drunk at work won out. Abracadabra! Now I’m just like that Harry Potter guy! FTW!


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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