Fall Into Foul Blogs

Perchance I shall hawk Chevy Trucks anon, because my blog is steady as a rock.

Nay! That is not a good thing. Forsooth, a curse lies upon this keyboard, methinks.

There are, perhaps, more blog posts about how to blog effectively than there are American dollars comprising the U.S. deficit. I had come across several of these way back in the beginning and learned that if one wanted to grow a blog, a recommended tactic was updating your blog on a regular schedule.

I just googled the phrase “how to write a successful blog” and looked at the first three results. All three talked about “posting frequency.”

Well, I’ve done that. For almost three years now – over 1,000 days in a row – I have posted every single day. And what has been the result? Buried alive in riches, my face strewn all across the web?

Nay!

My stats are flatlined more than my EKG after a marathon lovemaking session with a bevy of the new Memphis BBQ Burgers from Carl’s Jr. (A charbroiled all-beef burger, pulled pork, BBQ sauce, crispy onion strings, all on a seeded bun.)

Oh, shit. If only I’d read further and discovered that being interesting, entertaining and having talent was also recommended. Dammit. I call takebacks.

Someone get me a bottle of Dom P. I think I’m going to have to re-christen this sucker.

To thine own self be spew.

6 responses

  1. Wow! The visuals this post prompted…thankfully my sunglasses took the brunt. Over 1,000 posts is an awesome accomplishment. Screw the stats. I’ll always read what you have to say.

    If you care. Which you may not. But I hope you might. Because I think we’re tight. Like a fist fight. Or a sound bite. You fly like a kite. You are my shining knight. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. Visuals? And I forgot to include an image. The Memphis BBQ Burger earns a special place in my heart. Heh!

      I do care. That’s my middle name. The first rule of Tight Club is never mention Tight Club in a blog comment. That and you have to make soap out of people. Delicious!

      You may be the first person in the history of the space-time continuum to use the word “knight” in association with me in any context. You are brave.

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  2. Dude, I’m with you, although I have no where near 1000 posts. Currently, mine says 374 posts. It’s hard to believe that’s all there is, but yeah, that’s it. And followers? A meager 91 people subscribe to my blog. But is that a bad thing? Not really. I mean, my posts are scattered over so many topics that it would be hard to define a theme. You seem to be doing alright here.

    Like you, I’ve pursued a lot of blogs, and sometimes wonder at the ones that attract a set following. A lot of them appear to have themes. You know – they write about a specific topic all the time. You had this “work” theme going for a while – bitching about your job in a funny way – and that was probably a pretty good theme. And you had quit a bit about the hamster, which was also funny. Humor seems to attract a lot of people, I’ve noticed. That and witty storytelling.

    Someone should break the genres down for blogging. You’ve got your video bloggers, your music bloggers, your pretty photograph bloggers, your emotional story bloggers, your interesting hobby bloggers, your food bloggers, your “what’s going on in my life” bloggers, your informational bloggers, your political bloggers, your technology bloggers, and your rampant bullshit bloggers. Many many more, I’m sure.

    I think that, like me, you don’t fit squarely into any one particular genre. And that may be the problem in growing. People might find you by searching, they might say “that was cool, what else has he got?” And then, when they look, they don’t find anything that follows the same “theme” or the same train of thought they were currently in when they read the post that brought them to your site. Now, personally, I’m going to continue being all over the place. That’s my “theme.” Absolute chaos. I look at my blog as more of an archive for myself and my kids to figure out who I was when the time comes for them to ask that question (or I forget and have to ask it myself). But you might have other ideas. And for that, I recommend a theme. You know – always writing about the same stuff but in a slightly different way. Pick something that you can update often, something that you know about, like to write about, and can push interest in. It also helps if that isn’t something a lot of other people are writing about too.

    You know what my most successful posts are? Stuff that shows up in a Google search. Usually it’s crap I don’t care about anyway. So, if you really want to grow, search Google for crap that people might be searching for, research what people are searching for, and then use those terms in both your heading and your content. It’s cheesy, but a lot of people do it.

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    1. Nice comment! I’d rather have one real person than 4,000 google image search visits. That traffic is drive-by in nature. They get the image and then they leave. They don’t seem to care much about my pith.

      You’re right. Gerbil moved out and then my gerbil posts stopped. ๐Ÿ™‚ I seem to write about whatever is poking me most at that particular moment. But yeah, I’d say work posts are in my wheelhouse.

      I admit I don’t strive to fit in a neat little cubby hole. I write about whatever moves me, including, too much, politics. That’s probably a downer for a lot of people.

      Thanks for the excellent feedback!!

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  3. I think the only one of the “how to” suggestions that I’ve heard is that to be really successful, you have stick to one topic: politics, science, cooking, entertainment, poop — whatever. The other thing is to cross-pollenate — go seek out more blogs (in the same area) and comment and link.

    That’s all too annoying and rigid for me. I usually write for fun and so my topics (like me) are all over the place. So screw that — be yourself!

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    1. In my case, “be yourself” is extremely bad advice, but I accept the goodwill spirit of your suggestion. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I think I’ll stick with my meme of writing jokes where only I get the punchline. Hilarious even if nobody else ever seems to think so!

      Like

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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