No Polo – Lotto Luck

Photo credit: Tom B. Taker. Click to enlarge.

Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics.

Ah, shit. I just pooched it three times.

There’s no place like home.

Laying in bed this morning I was thinking about my next blog post. I decided whatever the cost, it must not be about politics. So I decided to burst into song:

Tax cuts on the rich and hikes for the poor (no polo)
And you don’t want to endure years more four (no polo)
Spend your days fighting the right to abort (no polo)
Traders taking loses because their positions are short (no polo)

Or, maybe not.

Without further ado, the topic for today’s post is: The Lotto. (We writers call this a “segue.”)

My hypothesis: Each of us is born with X amount of “lotto luck” which we can use up in various ways. When it’s all used up, it’s gone. And when it’s all gone you win no more lotto. Evar.

I’ll illustrate with a short story about how I used up all of my lotto luck and took a major karma hit all at the same time. (I was an early multitasker.)

The wonderful content awaits just a stone’s throw away for those willing to make the jump.

I’ve never won the lotto. And that’s no coincidence. I just happened to use up my “luck” early. The word luck can be rather subjective.

Once, as a kid, I visited the aquarium at the coast. After seeing the sharks and fishies and such we were milling around on a rocky beach by an inlet. I was bored. I was a young snot-nosed idiot and we all know how much I like them. If the future me was to warp in, I’m sure I would have shot me in the ass with a load of buckshot.

Offshore, perhaps 100 feet away, floating peacefully in the water and minding its own business, was a bird. I’m not sure what kind. It may have been a duck or some kind of sea bird. It caught my eye.

An idea flashed through my brain. Why not pick up a rock and toss it at the bird? Yeah, that was probably the most interesting thing I could do.

I bent down and picked up a hand-sized rock. It had good heft. Poof! There just went a bit of lotto luck.

Without aiming or any kind of thought, I brought my arm back and wailed on that rock. I just let that thing fly. Off it went on an elegant arc towards the sea. It was a perfect throw. Poof! A bit more lotto luck just got vaporized.

I watched with keen interest and quickly realized the throw was going to be close. Very close. Ah, shit. Poof!

We all know how this story ends. Somehow, someway, with the odds being something like 4.2 billion against, that rock found its target. It was a perfect strike. Kablowie!

All of my lotto luck was gone in an instant. And I still had the rest of my life ahead of me. My karma bank registered a huge deduction as well. I think that pretty much explains how things have gone for me ever since.

The rock hit that bird dead on with a sickening thud. I can still remember the sound it made.

I may have spent all of my lotto luck with that throw but I learned a lesson. I’ve never thrown, pointed or aimed anything at a living creature ever since.

Today’s interactive question: What in life have you done that was so against the odds that it used up your lotto luck?

3 responses

  1. You are forgetting your pointed ironic aim that makes the rest of us throw up our arms in surrender. 🙂

    And you ask me what have I done to bust my lotto luck bank account to zilch? Drowned a chipmunk. I claimed it was an accident but you know insurance companies…self-defense is not a defense.


  2. Still waiting for the opportunity. If it’s any consolation, my husband had a pet duck. When friends came to visit, he let it sleep in his sleeping bag and then rolled over in the middle of the night and smothered it. He still feels guilty forty years later! 😦


    1. That’s decidedly not the proper way to get down in your sleeping bag.

      Poor ducky!


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