We could live on an 8′ by 8′ piece of dirt and I’d still be in the doghouse for not sweeping and dusting enough.
The Universe, however, likes to toss me a bone every once and again. When it comes to chores, the Universe likes to say, “Hey, little buddy. How about you and me get together and make this fun?”
Apparently we don’t have enough in common to form a language translation matrix. The linguistic database chokes on this mysterious word “fun.” I guess that’ll have to remain one of the great mysteries of life.
If you have an iPod or iPhone or iPad and chores that need to get done, then you’re in luck. An app called EpicWin awards real life experience points for getting your chores done.
If that’s too much technology, then there is also an old-fashioned tried and true low-tech solution. It’s called “Couples/Families Housework Distribution Dice.”
So next time you need some chores done, look for me in the back alley behind the convenience store. I’ll be the guy with the iPod rolling the funky bones.
At night my dreams will be haunted by the “do nothing” cube face. Ah, the stuff of legend.
Shouts from the Abyss 
Dear Chore Whore,
If the day ever comes when I add something like EpicWin to my iPod, for FUN, I want you to take me to the back of that convenience store and break my iPod.
Yours in wishful thinking,
Sink Slut
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Back of the convenience store, eh? In my family it was always out behind the wood shed. You are weird.
But, and I’m speaking as a friend here, challenge accepted. I’ll let my wife do the actual breaking part, though. That’s a long time fantasy of hers.
Yours in the pursuit of chores,
Dirty Dish Commish
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