This post is directed at Romney voters. Obama voters may leave the room. Go form up into a control group if that floats your boat. I don’t really care what you do. You just can’t be here.
We’re about embark on some science.
Today I have a series of questions for you in the name of political science. I appreciate your participation and sincere responses to this test battery. Don’t worry. The questions will be brief, are multiple choice, and you don’t have to explain your answers. Also, the battery is grounded so there is no risk of electrocution. This isn’t one of those science experiments.
Q. Imagine it is November 2012 and the following are your choices on the ballot for President of the United States. Using a ballpoint pen or pencil, indicate which of the choices would get your vote.
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Mitt Romney
(This is a control question. Since we’re all Romney voters here, Romney should win this one by a landslide.)
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A. Barack Obama
B. George W. Bush (third term)
(Assume an amendment to the U.S. Constitution has been made into law that allows three presidential terms per person.)
—
A. Barack Obama
B. John McCain
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Sarah Palin
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Newt Gingrich
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Rick Santorum
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Michelle Bachmann
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Rush Limbaugh
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Christine O’Donnell
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Ronald McDonald
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Tiger Woods
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Brett Favre
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Anthony Weiner
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Britney Spears
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Snooki
—
A. Barack Obama
B. John Edwards
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Toby Keith
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Ted Nugent
—
A. Barack Obama
B. iPad 3
—
A. Barack Obama
B. A Potato
(Assume potato is from Idaho.)
—
A. Barack Obama
B. HIV Virus
—
A. Barack Obama
B. Predator Drone Remote Operated Aircraft (with Grenade Launcher)
—
A. Barack Obama
B. A 55-gallon drum of official United States nuclear waste
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A. Barack Obama
B. Dog Poop
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The world of science thanks you for your participation.
Shouts from the Abyss 
I’m going with Toby Keith on all of the answers. Only because he sings Red Solo Cup. ~Smirk~
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You win the “Boot in the Ass” award. Well played!
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Some awesome candidates here! Some candidates in real life are barely distinguishable from dog poop. And most are radioactive!
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Oops. I forgot to tell people how to score their test results. Think that matters? 🙂
Like you, I singled out the 55-gallon drum of nuclear waste. I bet no one dares to ask it for its long-form birth certificate.
This science experiment is telling in more ways than one. The throw-away quickie posts seem to get the most love. The ones where I think really hard and pour in my heart and soul seem to get waffle-stomped. (No, not by Romney.)
I think that says a lot about me! Therefore my next post will be a retrospective on poop.
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Poop is always a winner! A definite stat magnet, too!
http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/0916291456
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Everyone? Really? And here I thought I had finally gotten into something exclusive, dammit.
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Snookie as president is scarier than dog poop for president.
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I know some people hate Obama so much that they’d prefer even Snooki. It’s that whole lesser of evils thing, I guess. My polling data indicates that 87% of Republicans would vote Snooki over Obama.
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*gasp*!
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[…] That Really Gets My Vote […]
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