I’m still feeling rather giddy about my recent achievement of a childhood dream. That of becoming a doctor*. You little people can now call me Dr. Taker or Dr. Tom (if you’re not on my shit list.) From now on I’ll be sporting a fashionable white lab/trench coat (and nothing else). Mmm. That feels good.

Today I finally end the speculum speculation. (Sorry. I’m still new to being a doctor and some of these fancy words won’t come easy to me.)

My name is Tom B. Taker and I am running for president.

To prove how motivated I am, I made my own campaign mug with my very own hands. (See inset image.) The craftsmanship demonstrates my many talents. (It looks so good you can’t believe it wasn’t made in China. But it’s true. The American spirit remains alive.) The fact that I instagramed the bloody thing means I understand today’s technological world. Thus you can wisely conclude that I’m a true renaissance man. I hope you’ll agree I’m a lesser evil than those other no talent ass clowns and thus worthy of your vote!
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