OK. Hey, I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

(audience laughter)

Mr. MARTIN: That’s right, for every one you buy, I get two. So I can just have about as much as I want, you know what I mean? And it doesn’t affect me.

(sound of someone falling)
–Steve Martin

“Studies.” Some people say that word with utter contempt. “What the hell can studies tell us about anything? Fuck studies.”

Let’s review a few of my favorites.
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