Termination Tuesday – The Fucked Up Fracas – Week 2

Another one bites the dust leaving seven worthy competitors. This week, two more enter the Hexagon of Death. (I’ve always had a thing for hexagons.) But only one will live on to fight another day.

Last week the famous swarming attack of the Killer Bees failed to generate any buzz and Wood Chipper continued its daily grind by literally chewing up and spitting out the competition.

Will anyone be able to stop the Wood Chipper juggernaut? In late breaking news, it has been learned that chipper blades are made from high grade steel and usually contain a minimum of 8% chromium for hardness. We’re still waiting on a decision regarding this development by the studio judges.

Meanwhile the time has come to sink our chops into this week’s battle: Immurement vs. Electrocution.

The Academy wants to remind voters that Immurement is defined as “a form of execution where a person is walled up within a building and left to die from starvation or dehydration. This is distinct from being buried alive, in which the victim typically dies of asphyxiation.”

As always, whenever we mention the word “immurement” we suddenly find ourselves incapable of referencing our patron saint Edgar Allen Poe and his classic short story, The Cask of Amontillado. Academy voters may wish to read this historical document before making their choice.

An immurement in progress. This piece is called Hot Nuns with Trowels.

Electrocution is more well known around the circuit albeit less grounded. (Heh.) Death from electrocution can occur from any shock that carries enough current. Small currents (70–700 mA) usually trigger fibrillation in the heart which is reversible via defibrillator, but large currents (> 1 A) cause permanent damage via burns, and cellular damage. The heart is most devastated by foreign electricity, next is the brain. Women are more susceptible to macroshock electrocution than men, but men are equally susceptible to microshock electrocution.

The aftermath of electrocution caused by a lightning strike.

Choices, choices. The time has come to throw the switch. Voting is now open. Please enjoy yourself but not too much.

Click to enlarge

6 responses

  1. Anything that is long and drawn out and involves trowels is automatically the worst.

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    1. Apparently it was quite the form of execution back in the day before it fell out of favor. Maybe I’ll start a group to revive the practice. 🙂

      And I’m proud to say that this humble blog is the only result in Google for the phrase (with quotes): “Hot Nuns with Trowels.”

      That’s why you all keep coming back – for that sort of exclusive content! 🙂

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  2. I’m going against the grain and going with electrocution. That’s just awful, even if it is short. After a while, being Amontillado’d you’d just go to sleep.

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    1. Interesting strategy. I hope it pays off!

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  3. I’m with Steve on this one. I rather be found dead and skinny than dead with bad hair.

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    1. I tend to agree. Besides, hunger eventually leads to hallucinations, right? So at least you’ll get some good trips in before the end. With electrocution it’s a few moments of utter pain and then poof. No trips!

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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