This Tweek In Review

This might be a new Sunday thing here on the blog. I’ve been ordered to relax my blogging chops on the weekends, so I thought a quickie post reviewing Twitter Week (Tw+Week = “Tweek”) might be fruitful for those of you who don’t follow Twitter and miss out on all of my pith and vinegar. So here goes.

How do good men do evil? First off, it helps to be not so good.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 13, 2012

It was Monday morning and my first tweet of the week. I went with the obvious.

Darth Vader could convert someone to the Dark Side and train them up to Dark Jedi in the time it takes my boss to explain a bullshit point.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 14, 2012

On Tuesday, in a highly unusual chain of events, this tweet was retweeted a couple of times.

Living Dilbert is sick of all things Newt, and most especially – what he wants to do or has done with his peen.

— Living Dilbert (@livingdilbert) January 19, 2012

Also on Tuesday I retweeted this tweet I had previously missed. Mainly because it contained the word “peen.” We all know I’ve peen there, done that.

Interesting. "The Definitive Guide" to this software I'm using devotes only ONE paragraph to importing AND exporting. I've been violated.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 14, 2012

Apparently I got a little frustrated with work. Like trying to figure out some software, then remembering we had purchased a book about the software called “The Definitive Guide.” It turned out to be not that helpful.

Rush transcript from my recent stint on FOX News: "Bleep bleep bleep Obama bleep Romney bleep bleep dick bleep bleep suck bleep fuck you."

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 15, 2012

This one really put a smile on my face. Can you imagine me as a talking head on FOX News? I imagine it would go a little something like this.

The singular meaning of my life is not to hang around just for the chance to document your greatness.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 15, 2012

It always amazes me that “bulldozer” communicators who won’t listen to a word you have to say want you to hang on their every moment of greatness. I think not. I’d rather go get my feet bound.

Mitt flip flops with style and makes Kerry seem like an amateur: "I was against pornography before I unknowingly (cough) profited from it."

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 16, 2012

The highlight of hump day was cracking myself up with this. Someone’s gotta do it. Props to blogramedy for joining in with retweet!

I just learned my blog has been featured on "Freshly Suppressed" every day for the last three years. Wow! You hate me! #FTW #woot #WordPress

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 16, 2012

My first tweet of Thursday also received retweet love from a couple of geniuses. Woot.

I won't ask how in world you came across that site. Your internet searches can remain private. 🙂 I'm going to support that guy! @betzsteve

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 16, 2012

Thanks to Steve Betz for alerting me to a worthy cause.

Please don't take this the wrong way. It's nothing person, I assure you. I just happen to think you are a piece of shit.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 16, 2012

Later that same day I got a bit philosophical.

Just out of the shower, I was naked, bent over, and playing with the cat. My wife spoke: "Now I know where shouts from the abyss come from."

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 17, 2012

Getting ready for work on Friday is always a special time.

One year ago today Voyager reached 11 billion miles from Earth, turned around, faced the planet of its birth, and gave humanity the finger.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 17, 2012

The coup de grace to another successful week of spewing on the Twitter!

I'm out of ideas. Effective immediately I will reblog ALL of my tweets that didn't get enough love. That's 1 per day for the next 21 years.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) February 17, 2012

I’m out of blog ideas. Starting Monday I’m going to blog all of my tweets in excruciating detail. With 7,692 tweets, if I do one per day, I wonder how long that will last?