Getting religious about special rights

This is a mid-day “I’m at the office” quiki-post spawned (heh!) by something that just ejaculated across my display during my lunch break. Condoms are only 98% effective and in this case my post burst through…

Speaker of the House John Boehner is ragin’. In fact, he was out on the floor of the House sportin’ a boner. Boehner got a boner. See what I did there? God, I’m so clever.

So, anyway, he’s got his knickers in a knot over an Obama policy that requires health insurers to pay for contraception. The problem? The rule might cause some religious employers to have to violate their “beliefs.”

Well boo-fucking-hoo!!! Someone dial 9-1-1 for the whambulance!

This attack by the federal government on religious freedom in our country cannot stand, and will not stand.”
–John Boehner

As the religious are wont to often say, “You don’t need special rights.”

What do I mean by that? I’ll try to wear briefs while being brief.

Insert pregnant pause here.

There are two pertinent facts I’d like to add to this intercourse.

First, not once in the entire history of human civilization has a law-making body ever asked me for my opinion before slapping some new law, requirement, mandate, or legislation on my ass. It has always been, “Take this, motherfucker.” My consent has always been completely and utterly optional.

Wow! That’s even more rare than the ladies trying to hook up with me. Unbelievable but true.

If they do it to me it’s called “normal.” If they do it to religion it’s called an “attack.”

Secondly, at no point during my work life do I ever have the right to tell my boss “no” to any so-called direct order that ever-so-gently skirts the boundaries of ethics and good taste. At least not without the somewhat distasteful side effect of losing my job. (At will, yeah!)

My boss is free to be unethical as he wants. He’s the boss. His business model is based on the time-honored tradition of lie, cheat and steal. And, not to put too fine a point on it, but it offends my delicate sensibilities. The rub, of course, is that although I’m deeply offended, it isn’t in a strictly religious context.

So what gives? That’s the border where my rights end and certain other people’s begin? I’m sorry, but that strikes me as a load of horseshit.

As always, my rights consist of things like being unemployed and living on the street. Freedom!

9 responses

  1. While I’m fine with contraception, I ain’t fine with more government overreach. This fight isn’t about your boss. The feds have interfered enough. And who are these clowns anyway? Why do I want Kathleen Sebelius, my former governor, telling me what to do? Where are all of the protesters who said “Question Authority” from the 60s and 70s? Now, they bend over and hold their ankles. Who’s next to be screwed?



    1. I found this quote on an article about left-wing Catholics like Bart Stupak (whose vote helped bring about the government takeover of health insurance and health care) complaining that Obama lied. (Hey, that’s what Narcissists do. Then they smile real pretty.)

      “These Left wing Catholics are no worse than the Catholic bishops and the Pope.
      The bishops and Pope all support Obamacare.
      They don’t support the abortion & contraception parts of Obamacare but they support turning over everyone’s healthcare decisions to the government.

      When you sleep with the devil you can’t be surprised if you need a morning after pill.”

      Read more:

      I wanted to quote Thomas Jefferson, but one of my favorite quotes is probably actually Gerard Ford’s: “A government big enough to give you everything you need, is a government big enough to take away everything that you have….” If you want to check the veracity of a Jefferson quote, this is a good site:


    2. I agree. The contraception policy is government telling what business what to do. Sometimes that’s a baby step towards evil, but sometimes it’s a price we have to pay in the name of the overall good.

      It’s a double-edged sword, to be sure. You can find a streak of “big government knows best” in most anyone depending on which particular dog they have in the fight. For example, Newt thinks it is the job of government to give certain employees special rights at their jobs based on religious beliefs. (Doctors shouldn’t have to provide procedures, like abortions, if those procedures go against their beliefs.)

      I’m not saying this fight is about my boss. He’s just a garden variety douchebag. I just can’t resist the urge to stick him in there to make certain points. Leave him out of it and the point still stands.

      My wife’s employer wants happy employees. That’s why they cover workers but NOT their spouses. Nothing makes a worker happier than watching their spouse die, right? That thought amuses me every single time it crosses my mind. But, I digress. The point here is that they do provide birth control pills in their health plan and somehow the universe isn’t destroyed. At the end of the day it’s just another med and life goes on. (Heh!)

      Again, my point still stands. I don’t enjoy ANY such rights at my job. I have to be debased, humiliated and sell my soul in exchange for a paycheck. This one shitty little man in my community gets WAY too much sway over my life. If I don’t like my job, my entire life I’ve been told, “Go find another one.” Why do religious doctors get a special magic wand that I can’t have?

      I think it’s the same concept on this contraception thing. Personally I’m not too heavily invested in the issue even if I am morally outraged at the prospect of yet more people getting special treatment based on their religious beliefs. Why? As someone without health insurance, if I want a box of rubbers, I have to go pay for them.

      I don’t understand religions mixed up ideas about sex. With all of the problems in the world and they want to worry about the genders of people who love each other, not self-touching the naughty bits, and, of course, any sexual activity that doesn’t make babies. It’s weird and it’s fucked up. So much so that a Boehner was in the house ejecting angrily about the government’s “attack” on religious freedom. Exaggerate much?

      You framed it more as an issue of big government. Boehner calls it an attack on religion. Isn’t that a bit too much hyperbole, even for him? Now all the religious leaders are coming out to make the same point, including some Catholic bishop named Dolan. It doesn’t change my opinion that I think the argument is faulty.

      By the way, I’ve got an extra ticket to the racetrack. It’s gonna be Good Intentions vs. Unintended Consequences. Should be a close race. Wanna join me? I’ll buy the popcorn.


  2. Of course, if we leave it up to small biz, they we won’t get health insurance at all. My boss said, “I’ll only provide health insurance for you if it pencils out and I come out ahead.”

    Great guy.

    Of course, he’s also the same guy who said, “Sick days? No way. Why should I have to pay for my employee’s failure to save?”

    All for one and the boss for himself. That’s my motto. Everyone else is just Duracell batteries to be sucked dry and then tossed in the landfill. Just as long as the boss gets his.


    1. This is going to make your head explode, but I don’t think health insurance should be tied to jobs. It would be a lot cheaper, much more portable and more fair if it had been designed like car insurance or home owner’s insurance. You don’t lose your car insurance or home owner’s insurance when you switch jobs. Again, you can blame FDR for this fiasco when he pushed wage and price controls.


      1. BY JOHN H. COCHRANE (Wall Street Journal, FEBRUARY 9, 2012)

        The Real Trouble With the Birth-Control Mandate
        Critics are missing the main point. There are good reasons that your car-insurance company doesn’t add $100 to your premium and then cover oil changes.
        When the administration affirmed last month that church-affiliated employers must buy health insurance that covers birth control, the outcry was instant. Critics complained that certain institutions should be exempt as a matter of religious freedom. Although the ruling was meant to be final, presidential advisers said this week that the administration might look for a compromise.

        Critics are missing the larger point. Why should the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) decree that any of us must pay for “insurance” that covers contraceptives?

        I put “insurance” in quotes for a reason. Insurance is supposed to mean a contract, by which a company pays for large, unanticipated expenses like your house burning down, your car getting stolen or a big medical bill.

        Insurance is a bad idea for small, regular and predictable expenses…


  3. Make sure there’s no butter on that popcorn, ha, ha. You know that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I won’t try to attribute that quote to Thomas Jefferson.

    Now I’ve got to get a tetanus shot and have been looking up whether my insurance pays for the Minute Clinic. So, I do have insurance, and I need to be mindful of how difficult it is to get and to keep and how expensive it is. My daughter bought her own, because it would cost $500 a month to get on her husband’s plan. Her policy doesn’t cover much but catastrophic illness. I think this society has made a mistake in devising insurance to cover every little thing, such as my tetanus shot, rather than catastrophic events. Homeowners buy insurance, which they use for big events, such as a fire, rather than fixing every little thing, such as a small hole that your kid puts in the wall when he hits it with a hammer. Health care and health care insurance would be a LOT cheaper, if that’s how health insurance was devised. Paperwork would be less, and you’d know how much each procedure actually cost. I blame FDR, as I always do, for setting us on this path over a cliff.


  4. I think that if you’re going to provide health insurance, then you pay for health insurance. If a private firm doesn’t want to provide that, they don’t have to — and should take a representative hit in the quality of their employees. Health care coverage is a benefit.

    If I was the federal government, I would say, “you want federal dollars, you play by the fed’s rules” which I think is fair. So if Catholic hospitals make money off of medicare, tough luck for them. Either don’t take medicare subsidies or offer comprehensive health insurance.


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: