Two-Faced: How we look on the Internet

We all lie about our appearance on the internet, right? Today we take a fairly close look at one case study. But not too close.

It seems reasonable that when we create our online persona, we want to select the best possible image to represent us to the world. Right? That’s why my Twitter image shows me at my very best: hidden away in my cherished chemical suit!

Tom’s Law #42

When a person chooses an actual image of themselves to share on the internet, it represents the hand-picked epitome of the best possible moment in time they were ever photographed, not uncommonly also offset by a few decades of time.

Are those two images supposed to represent the same person? Wow! One practically has angels playing harps in the background and the other looks a bit like Rosie O’Donnell on steroids. (No offense to Rosie O’Donnell is intended.)

But, then again, isn’t the internet the ultimate representation of falsehoods that human beings have yet to achieve? In the depths of its dishonesty it is an unparalleled accomplishment. Literally nothing is real.

Hell, I do it, too. The only actual photograph of me on the internet doesn’t look anything like me. When people see it they often say, “That’s not really you, is it?” It’s the only photograph of me in known existence where I don’t look at it and say, “I am not a man! I am not a human being! I am an elephant. I am an animal!”

Making you believe I’m otherwise is the whole point, isn’t it?

15 responses

  1. LOL. Of course I pick the best image for my online presence. And sometimes in real life you could find me looking my best too…but it’s good to be able to run around incognito in my real life when I want to 😉


    1. It’s true. I’ve never met an avatar of yours I didn’t like. 🙂

      Your reply has enthused me so much I’ve decided, at last, to finally reveal what I look like without my chemical suit.

      The real me

      Thus, proving my point why I use that other image.


  2. OMG! And you still used professional photographers and make-up artists! Shudder to think how it would have looked with a home-job 😉


    1. Luckily they caught me on a good day!


  3. I KNEW it! You really are Karl Urban…I could tell by that bulge in your suit. 😉


    1. Stand back. I’m not sure how far this suit sprays.


  4. OK, after much thought, here’s my real avatar. Don’t tell the cops.


  5. Wait. I stand corrected. I have officially found the ugliest avatar of all time. You have been warned.


  6. Okay, ya got me. All my avatars are fake. I’m actually a ferret but people don’t seem to respond well to my true ferret face. I found the guy I pretend is me at an online avatar matchmaking service. $5.


    1. I’ve always been suspicious of your avatar. At least you’re illegal in California. That’s way more status than I’ve ever had!


  7. As the saying goes…”if the suit fits.” Leave your avi alone. If we all saw what you really looked liked…well, let’s just say things could get hot around here. 😉

    Mrs. Abyss will understand what I mean.


    1. If you saw what I looked like? My advice is never throw up in your chemical suit.

      Suit up!


  8. I use my dog and a pencil sketch. Maybe if I could get a pro photographer, make up artist and a air-brush expert, I wouldn’t — but until then it’s Penny and charcoal.


    1. I think the way we handle our avatars in our own way is an interesting topic. This post got an unusual amount of traffic.

      For me, the approach was simple: Anything except my own face. The chemical suit was love at first sight. 🙂


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