Do you remember what you were doing on Feb. 12, 2010? Me either. The only record I have of that date is a lame post about Valentine’s Day and chocolate. While the biggest worry in my life was some inane holiday, a 23-year-old young man was having his life terminated by an asshole of gratuitous evil.
On Feb. 12, 2010, it is reported that a man named John Goodman (no relation to the actor) was driving in his Bentley convertible. He ran a stop sign, smashed into a car being driven by 23-year-old Scott Patrick Wilson, and fled the scene. Wilson was left for dead, in his overturned car and at the bottom of a canal. The accident ended Wilson’s life.
Goodman was found later and had a blood alcohol level that was twice the legal limit.
The catch? Goodman is rich. Filthy rich. He inherited his wealth from his daddy. I checked prices on Bentley convertibles and they can cost a couple of big ones. The hundred-thousand variety of big ones.
The douchebag plead “not guilty” to a charge of vehicular homicide and currently awaits a criminal trial.
Remember the Penn State Scandal of 2011? There is one particular aspect of that incident that’s very germane to this current discussion. One that is elegant in its execution and evil.
It goes a little something like this:
Joe Paterno was well aware of the Jerry Sandusky scandal long before it became public. Four months before the scandal broke into national mainstream media, Paterno quietly sold his house. To his wife. For one motherfucking dollar.
The couple bought the house, together, in 1969 for $58,000, and lived there together ever since.
In 2011 at the time of the “sale” (those are air quotes coated with evil and contact poison) the house was valued at $594,484.40. Personally I would have rounded down to the nearest whole dollar but I guess Paterno wanted his fucking 40 cents. One must always endeavor to be accurate when fucking the human race. Or so I’ve heard.
You might be asking yourself, “Why in the name of Zeus’ butthole would Paterno sell his house, and for only $1, and why his to wife, of all people?”
Paterno was no dummy. He knew which was the wind was blowing. The Sandusky thing was going to be ugly. Very ugly. And some very aggrieved people were going to realize two things. Paterno could be sued and Paterno had money. It was time for the master strategist to reach for his playbook.
So he did the only honorable thing that crossed his brain. He sold his house to a woman who presumably already owned it in a tactic to prevent the house from somehow being used to represent some token form of justice for evil deeds that could never be undone. He wanted that fucker to be untouchable.
In yo face! Spike! Touchdown dance!
Compared to Goodman, though, Paterno almost looks like a pussy.
You see, what Goodman did was even more classy. Even more lawyered up. Even more elegant. It’s a simple plan that would make Satan himself blush.
Goodman, age 48, legally adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend. Yes, his girlfriend is now his daughter!
If you ever start to suspect there might be good in the world, my advice is to forget it. Not as long as shit like this is allowed to happen. Legal? Kiss my ass. Someone put a stop to this shit!
Goodman’s lawyer publicly went on record saying a pending civil lawsuit by family of the victim has nothing to do with the insanely bizare legal move. What a fucking coincidence! The lawyer claimed it was all done so Goodman could yell, “Daddy’s home,” each time he walked into his girlfriend’s house. These guys with hundreds of millions of dollars and their little penchants, eh? You’d think rich dudes were out adopting their little gold digger nookies every day of the week.
As a matter of fact, it turns out that Goodman happened to have a trust established for his two (presumably) non-fuckable children. His newest baby girl, sweet little Heather, however, immediately lays claim to one-third of the trust.
Let us not overlook Heather’s part in this, either. She knew what she was doing. Wink, wink. It’s not like she was grounded. She’s a grown up little girl. She has free will. She had a choice. Something like this couldn’t have taken place without her full consent and cooperation. And something tells me that with her scruples that was no big deal. Me consent you long time, honey.
I wish I could tell you I was making all this shit up. I wish people weren’t this evil. I wish there was a God so that heaven would exist, and thus Hell would exist, too, so there would be a suitable place to send this guy. I wish I had never heard of the planet Earth.
I guess Goodman really paterno’d this one and kicked it up a notch – to a whole ‘nother level. Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.
If I was on the jury, I’d vote death for this bastard. It would actually be too good for him. Sadly the best I can do is hope that he goes to jail and rots for a long, long time.
All I have to cling to is that sincere dream. That and the hope that he doesn’t somehow buy his way into conjugal visits with his daughter…
This is despicable.
I had seen a headline about a guy adopting his girlfriend, but didn’t click on it. Yeah, I know, what’s wrong with me? So this is what it’s all about. Wow. Someone should charge them with incest, just for fun.
Some stories rock my world and then I can’t stop about them. Joe Paterno was one. Now this douchebag is another. Leave it to me to tie them together.
Lucky for him (perhaps not) that his girlfriend has about the same amount of morals that he does, otherwise his cleverness may not have shined so. Like I always do, I hope the monster he has created comes back to bite him in the ass.
Some news stories are calling John Goodman a “billionaire.” Since the accident, of course, he has been circling his wagons and trying to minimize his wealth. Now that it’s being reported I’m going to go ahead and throw that word out there, too.
I don’t disagree but do wonder if Paterno’s move had more to do with his looming death than any blow-out from the Sandusky case.
Hey, stranger. Long time! I hope you’ve been well.
It’s okay to disagree. It’s my job to be out there. Way out there. 🙂
You may very well be right. He may have planned it for some time. The logic of it being for any other reason that “sheltering” escapes me, though. If he died, it would all be his wife’s anyway, wouldn’t it? They were married, they bought the house it together, and they both lived there for over 40 years. I’m no lawyer but it seems to me that in any court in the land it would already be hers no matter what.
The timing, the knowledge of what was coming, and the oddness of the action has me convinced it was done to thwart justice. (That’s my terminology.)
Goodman and girlfriend, I mean daughter – disgusting.
But Paterno? Sure, the timing sounds suspect. But the action? Because of my husband’s profession, I “own” our house, too. And yes, it’s to protect as least our home from being taken should he be sued. In our sue-happy society, protecting your assets that you’ve built together is smart. Paterno may have been guilty of hiding Sandusky’s secret. But people have sued for a lot less.
SOrt of off topic, but I just had to share. This guy is hilarious, not in your league of course, but still funny. 🙂 Приветствия от вашего товарища, Екатерина
Remember. Comparing someone to me is always an insult. At least to them.
Thanks for the link! I did go and read the bit about the Progressive Bible.
Jane, I get you. I know where you’re coming from. And I know I’m out there by picking on that kindly old Paterno fellow. Who would do that? I’m here so y’all don’t have to. Rude, offensive and tasteless. Welcome to the ROT.
The problem is, your net worth is what it is. You can’t play pretendsies and say, “If I’m being sued, then my net worth is the used-to-be-copper penny in my pocketses, yess, my preciouss.”
Then, the next day, when you want to buy a house, you fill out a form that shows your assets and your spouse’s all living happily together.
Call me naive, but I call those lies of convenience. And that’s exactly the way people like my boss roll, too, going through their life of “business” and acting all holier than thou because of their religious beliefs, happily believing in the fairy tale world that they are good people.
If a billion is drunk on twice the legal limit and blows through a stop sign and kills a person more than half his age, he should be sued. And more. What it totally evil is that he can call timeout and suddenly own nothing. Clearly this is a dude that needs to spend the rest of his life in jail. I think his “daughter” should also be held accountable for her role in trying to fuck the victim’s family out of the only form of “justice” available to them, too.
I know not everyone will agree with me. It’s just my opinion. I think it’s kind of like running up a few hundred grand on your credit cards the day before you declare bankruptcy. That shit just don’t fly.
And we live in a country that was supposedly built on the concept of personal responsibility. Yet our system provides get out of jail free cards for those evil and inventive enough to take it.
In my opinion that sort of shit should be stopped. Period.