Termination Tuesday – The Sweet 16 – Week 5

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Congratulations, everybody! We’re officially half-way through the Sweet 16. I guess that explains why I’m draggin’ and feel dead on my feet.

Yeah, a pun about dying. You know this shit is fun.

Last week was a squeaker with Electrocution giving Hypothermia the cold shoulder. I’d say it was shocking, but that would be one pun too many.

This week features a gonzo marquee match-up. Therefore our advertising rates have tripled. This is the one most of you have been waiting for. Even the bookies in Las Vegas are refusing to issue odds – and that’s sacrilege! Yep, sitting this one out is a clear sign this will be a fierce contest. Or maybe they just had too much meat at the city-wide 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet?

Bear Attack vs Airplane Crash. Wow. It doesn’t get any better than this. Which is worse? Being a crunchy amuse bouche snack attack tartare for a playful ursus americanus? Or riding that roller coaster all the way down, helpless, completely out of control, often with plenty of time (measured in minutes) to know full well what is heading your way? (Usually the ground but sometimes the ocean.)

Yes, I think this one should be good. For bonus points try to think about getting rich on pornography or cheating on your wife during the act of voting. I hear tell that makes it much more fun!