You know you've screwed up badly when you've got a poet after you.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) January 14, 2012

Prevail incontinence products, when used according to directions, allow you to achieve the exact opposite of the product's name. #diaper

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) January 14, 2012

Welcome to driver's ed. Allow me to introduce you to the contraption that may very well end your life.

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) January 14, 2012

And now, without further ado, I declare 2012 the year of urinating on dead people. That is all. Nothing to see here. Move along. Year over!

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) January 13, 2012