Guru got a role model
Hey, handsome!
Most everything I ever needed to know I learned from the world of Star Trek.
Like, this week, I re-watched an old episode of The Next Generation (TNG) and thought to myself, “Now there’s someone I want to be like! Yeah, baby!”
I’m talking about, of course, Armus, from the Star Trek: TNG, first season, in the episode Skin of Evil.
Wow. This does sound good, doesn’t it?
Save your compassion; it’s revolting. You offer it like a prize, when it’s an insult.
–Armus
I try to be as negative as I can, but sometimes it’s so hard. (Whaa.) I realized what I was lacking was a proper role model. Say hello to Armus!
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Termination Tuesday – The Sweet 16 – Week 6
Click to enlarge
This week it feels icy. Sometimes death competitions are a dish best served cold.
The fates conspired to put Ice Pick to Head up against Avalanche. Weird, eh? If you’re lucky enough and you time it just right, maybe you could go out with a little bit of both as a rescuer climbs up the ice trying to get you out.
Now that would be a stylin’ way to go out. Sign me up!
Ice, ice, baby.
I estimate you suck
This is yet another work-related post in a long series of work-related posts. Sorry, sometimes work just has to come out of me, usually in the form of vomit and/or poop.
The boss came to me a few weeks ago and said he wanted a company-only “wiki.” Yeah, just like that famous encyclopedic one. He explained it would be a good place for everyone on the team to document critical information. We’d all benefit by having searchable information at our fingertips.
Even I had to admit that sounded like a logical good idea, if everyone chipped it and actually used the tool effectively.
I should have smelled a rat.
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Handy Dandy Republican Primary Presidential Cheat Sheet Crib Notes Voting Guide
Deciding is hard. Now you don’t have to!
The social scientists of the Abyss have been hard at work putting together the following guide to help you make sense of this confusing Republic primary. Should you vote for Mitt? Newt? Who the hell knows?
Now you do. Simply follow this chart and everything will turn out fine.
Thinking is hard and overrated. So don’t try.
You’re welcome!
Did you hear the one about the virus?
These two viruses (virii?) walk into a bar…
Okay, okay. Wait, wait!
Knock knock. Who’s there? A virus. A virus who? Newt Gingrich!
Dammit. That doesn’t work, either.
A priest, a rabbi and a virus are floating in a boat…
No, no, no, no!
Take my virus, please.
Aw, fuck it. I guess there will be no humor in this post. Don’t blame me. I tried!
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Obama gets logically fingered
“Sorry, kids. Those answers – all of them – are wrong. Looks like, once again, I’m the only one with the right answer. What did you expect? After all, don’t forget who’s the teacher and who’s the student here. That’s not by accident! Aw, don’t cry. Look. Participant ribbons for everyone, okay? Yeah!”
It’s true. My career in education was a short one.
I was going to run a caption contest for the picture of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer planting a part of her anatomy in the airspace of Obama’s face, but then I realized that such a contest would be a pointless exercise. Why? Because, of course, there is one (and only one) right answer.
Scientists discover Google
In the spirit of Don’t Be Evil, I’ve got something to say.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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