Day Twelve #BlogFestivus – Hitting the Sweet Spot

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

Hitting the Sweet Spot
by Tom B. Taker

It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who precariously balanced the 55-gallon drum at the top of a steep ramp, and in the middle of the workplace, too. But I didn’t do anything about it, either. I was complicit through inaction.

55 Gallon DrumsOur company, Kringle Korp., was known for two products: sludge and fudge. The former was a toxic byproduct of our production practices. The latter was surprisingly delicious!

Both were stored in 55-gallon drums for shipping or disposal and, generally speaking, you didn’t want to mix them up.

My drumhead was fantastically quick. They wanted – *needed* – someone to pay and it was my turn at the top of the list. I was summarily drummed out of Kringle.

Standing on the lip of the giant vat, I didn’t know which Kringle product it contained. I was pushed in.

Said I, “Fudge, oh!”

9 responses

  1. I’m going to work my way backward through the Twelve Days of Festivus! No finer dozen blog posts on this noble holiday were ever written! 😉


    1. Wow. I’m honored!

      Tip: When reading the posts in reverse, it helps to read the 12th post twelve times, the 11th post eleven times, and so on. It’s guaranteed holiday fun. (It also helps to drink of a fifth of spiked eggnog.)


  2. A fitting end for the Sultan of Sludge…the Fisher of Fudge. All hail the noble writer of fludge fiction. 😉


    1. For me the end is just the beginning.

      Or whatever.

      By the way, did you notice the last sentence? It’s the reverse of the very first sentence I started this challenge with back on day one. Bookends. Or whatever.


      1. How creative! You never cease to…make me want to take out a “cease & desist” order. 🙂

        Congratulations for finishing this, at times, agonizing short story challenge. You rocked the mountain, Guru! 🙂


  3. I kept flashing back to Roger Rabbit and the vat of DIP!!


    1. Not the most original idea, I admit. The first I heard of it was the hit Smother’s Brothers song, “I fell into a vat of chocolate.”

      CHOCOLATE!!! 🙂


  4. “Fudge, oh!” Haha!!
    Well, if you’ve gotta go, I could think of worse ways.


    1. Go? What is this talk of go? I’d just eat my way out.


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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