A proud member of the human feces

Throwing feces at other humans raises many questions. Like, "How in the name of Zeus' butthole do you have it ready for throwing?" #fuckers

— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) October 16, 2011

I’m going to be honest. (There’s a first time for everything.) When I’m watching hard news and the word “feces” makes an appearance, my ears perk right up. I mean hard news. Like the BBC. Not other news like Bieberbait and assorted blabber.

Let us try a little thought experiment before I tell you which news story contained the word “feces.” It’s a simple “IF … THEN” type of thought experiment.

Tom’s Proposition #42
If there is no God then humans sure do a lot of unjustifiable wonky shit in the name of something that doesn’t exist.

Can you do it? Can you actually imagine what it means if there really is no God? Think about all of the “evil” stuff that humans have done and continue to do to each other based on religious beliefs.

On the other hand, if there really is a God, you still have to grapple with the fundamental question: What is it he/she wants us to do? Who among us humans really has the corner on that sort of truth?

The Poop Trebuchet

The news story involved the throwing of feces at people. Don’t worry, I’ll share further details about the story in a moment.

Before we get there, though, upon hearing details like this, I can’t help but ponder what that sort of thing really means.

Think about it. Someone threw feces at someone else. Right off the top of my head I realize: That takes no small amount of preparation and planning!

I mean you don’t just find yourself in a poop-throwing situation and magically have your projectile materialize in your hands. We’re talking about a quite peculiar sort of premeditation here.

As with most things, there are certain pros and cons to using poop as a weapon. On the plus side it is readily available in modest quantities and is replenishable, although that might take some time. On the other hand (not literally I hope) there are several logistical problems. Not the least of which is the safe handling of the ammunition and delivery systems.

Unlike a harder substance, like a baseball, perhaps, if a certain amount of force is applied, one might find his ammunition doesn’t quite keep it together, if you know what I mean. Imagine your Charmin – erm, chagrin – if your projectile should disintegrate before reaching the target. You don’t want that kind of egg on your face.

I don’t care if you were the best pitcher on your high school baseball team. Simply hurling your ammo might not work out that well. So it occurred to me that you might need a clever solution. That’s when I invented the poop trebuchet (patent pending).

The Middle Beast

For reasons that should be obvious, this is a subject that require a deft touch and a certain sense of delicacy. I’ll do my best to treat this topic with sensitivity.

Now, let me ask you this. If I was to ask you about incidents in the Middle East involving the casting of stones and feces between persons with different ideological points of view, what might come to mind?

Would you guess something like: Israel and Palestine as possible characters in this little human drama?

Well, you’d be half right.

The story is one of Orthodox Jews vs. “ultra” Orthodox Jews. But, unfortunately, the story gets weirder than that. Who is the target of things like eggs, tomatoes, stones and feces? Who inspires grown religion men to yell things like “sluts!” and “shiksas!”

Answer: Young girls – between the ages of 6 and 12 – walking to their school.

Screen shot from BBC video. Click to view.

What could possibly possess grown men who are “ultra” religious to treat young children in this abominable manner?

This story takes place in Israel, just a stone’s throw (if you’ll pardon the phrase) from Jerusalem, a holy city to the three major Abrahamic religions— Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

The city of Beit Shemesh is located on the outskirts of Jerusalem, Israel. Go to Google News and search for “Beit Shemesh” and you’ll find numerous stories regarding this incident.

The issue: The opening of a Modern Orthodox elementary school. The problem: It is not quite as “ultra Orthodox” as the religious extremists living across the street would like.

BEIT SHEMESH, Israel — They cried “Sluts!” and “Shiksas!” and threw eggs and bags of excrement.

Their target: young girls who attend a recently opened Modern Orthodox elementary school in this Jerusalem suburb.

The assailants: religious extremists from the charedi Orthodox neighborhood across the street.

It was the latest battle in the clash between charedi zealots and Modern Orthodox Jews in Beit Shemesh, a heavily American suburb of 80,000 about 25 minutes from Jerusalem.

The newest flashpoint is the recently opened Banot Orot school.

At dismissal, parents who once let kids as young as six years old walk home alone now rush to the school gates each day to ensure their children’s safety. Police cars with flashing blue lights have become a fixture outside the school in this leafy neighborhood, and groups of volunteers patrol the main thoroughfare separating Banot Orot from the charedi neighborhood.

The charedim who have moved from the crowded streets of Jerusalem’s charedi neighborhoods to the tall apartment blocks across the road from the school hang banners from their balconies calling on the “Daughters of Israel to dress modestly.”

“They are determined to make Beit Shemesh a charedi city,” said Dov Lipman, formerly of Maryland, who in recent months has become a leader in the Modern Orthodox community in the battle over what he says is the future of Beit Shemesh.

It is a microcosm, some say, of the larger religious-secular conflict in Israel. “What is happening here is a microcosm of what could happen nationwide, and our unwillingness to yield before the violence and threats should serve as a model for the rest of the country,” Lipman said.

Source: The Jewish Standard

I can understand differences of opinion. But when one resorts to throwing poop, one should go home, look in the mirror, and sincerely and thoughtfully ask, “When did I devolve to the level of the monkey?”

Why target youths? They certainly didn’t do anything wrong. They’re just people that exist as receptacles for this level of hate and intolerance so they can pick up the banner someday and pass it along to future generations.

Where does hate come from? Basically, in a nutshell, the answer is, sadly, parents. Someone has to set an example and teach this shit.

Since the beginning of the school year, Haredi and National Religious residents living in the Kiryah Haredit and Sheinfeld neighborhoods have been clashing over the Orot LeBanot girl’s school that sits on the border of the two neighborhoods.  The school was given to the National Religious residents of the Sheinfeld neighborhood by the national and local government.

However, Haredim object to the presence of the girls, whom they view as immodestly dressed and impeding on their way of life.  There have been several clashes between the two neighborhoods, most of which have been instigated by Haredi activists who harangue and throw eggs and tomatoes at the students when they arrive and leave school.  The parents of students responded by bringing watchdogs with them in order to keep the girls safe.  The protest staged last night points to an escalation in the drama in Beit Shemesh and is likely to lead to additional confrontations.

Source: World of Judaica

It is being reported that the girls are “modestly” dressed, but not enough to satisfy the “ultra Orthodox” neighbors across the street, who claim immodesty because the manner of dress is “not chareidi enough.”

To me, this reeks of a lack of self-control, just like their behavior. If you don’t want to get excited and worked up by girls aged 6 to 12, don’t look at them! If that sort of thing is just too much temptation then, trust me on this, you’ve got way bigger problems going on.

This sort of behavior is the last refuge of the insane who have no logic or reason on which to hang their black wide-brimmed hats. Or, maybe, God told them to act this way. For some, the ends always justifies the means. “We’ll protect our religious beliefs even to the point that it sends us to everlasting Hell!”

Yeah, that sounds logical.

Meanwhile, some like to dream bigger and think about peace in the Middle East. Depressing stories like these really seem to put a damper on things. How are Jews and Palestinians ever going to see eye-to-eye on things when internal conflicts like these are seen as “microcosms” of what might happen to an entire country?