In a cruel, vicious, crippling twist of fate I woke up this morning.
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
This does not portend well. I'm sitting in a dark room because I lack the physical strength to toggle the light switch. #DarkOmen #fail
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
According to RunKeeper, my friend ran 2 miles, averaged 7.6 mph and burned 255 calories. Fuck that. I'll sit on my ass and skip the donut.
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
Ah, the length of the days beginning to sync with my patience. My favorite time of year.
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
Boss just pronounced "vegan" as veggin'. That's a soft "g" sound like in the word "vegetarian." He mispronounces words a lot. #dumbass
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
#WSJ refuses to give up front page column space to story (page A2) about Marine who saved dozens. Money first, country second. #fail #greed
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
UPS guy brought a package with one of the boss' fake names. Boss said, "That's me," and signed for it. UPS guy looked very suspicious. #FTW
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
The man collapsed. I pushed through the crowd. "Make way! I'm a negativist!" He was dead. I said, "It's okay. No one is worse off than you."
— Tom B. Taker (@shoutabyss) September 16, 2011
Shouts from the Abyss 