I had an out of body experience recently and found myself surfing the Huffington Post religion section. Say what?
Don’t worry. This post goes downhill from that. 🙂
So, yeah. While I was there I found this video about listening. At first I thought it was touchy-feeling mumbo jumbo of the sort I would normally sneer all over, but I gave it a listen and I think she makes some damn good points. She approaches and communicates the subject matter in a way I wish I could – only without curse words and using actual intelligence and sensitivity.
My problem, I guess, is that I’m too busy wanting to punch in the face of asshole communicators to take the time to explain things this way. So I’ll leave it to her.
Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t fall for all of this hook, line and sinker, but I can’t help but think the world would be a better place if us human beings stopped being such selfish assholes and practiced the long-forgotten art of listening.
Who the fuck is this “other” of which she speaks? I like to call it “someone besides your own fucking self, you asshole.” But that’s just me. I have the gift of translation which I often use to put things in layman’s terms. In other words, there are people out there, other than yourself, who may also occasionally want to get in a word edgewise, so shut yer fucking blowhole and give ’em a chance once in a while.
The video is only two minutes long. Do you feel lucky? Well? Do ya punk?
WordPress didn’t make it easy to embed a Huffington Post video here. So pay a little respect and absorb this shit, k?Vodpod videos no longer available.
This past weekend I spent a wonderful 3 days with 10 girlfriends (sans husbands of course). Last night I saw a two additional friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. I picked one friend up and drove her the other friends house. Took us about 20 minutes to get there. Once in the car she immediately asked, so how was your weekend and what did you do? I said, “well I did A, B, C (which took me all of 60 seconds to say) and then I…” That was the end of my talking. Apparently 60 seconds of her time to listen was all she could bear. The next 19 minutes I spent listening to her yammer. We arrived at our destination, got settled in and friend two says, “So how was your trip, tell me all about it, what did you do?” I said, “Well, I did A (which took me about 15 second to say)…” That was the end of my talking. Something I said made her remember to tell this long boring story about someone we don’t know, in a town we have never visited, about something we could care less about. But of course I listened and could repeat every word she said. What a delightful evening. I must either be the worlds most boring person….or to quote Shouts “people are selfish assholes”.
You can’t be the world’s most boring person because I am! That’s my gift to you!
My favorite examples are things like “Someone really close to me died last night” or “I have something really important to tell you.” They never work. I guess things like that don’t measure up to exciting minutia like what was eaten for breakfast or a description of the latest bowel movement.
I have a friend who interrupts me all the time and always talks about herself, but I still like her. What can ya do? Thank heavens for blogging!
I thought the Huffpo vid speaker looked like a flake, but every word was true and very sound advice that I will try to remember.
I guess that begs the question, “What is a friend?” I find it hard to believe that a real friend talks only of themselves and never takes an interest in you.
I discussed this wife my last last night. She told me there are some friends that she works with who fall into the “never let you talk” department. Yet they really like her. One even gave her a gift this week just for the hell of it.
I’m like, “How do they even know they like you? They never let you talk. They don’t know you.”
I talk A LOT but I also listen A LOT; however, I’m a judgmental bitch, so there’s that.
Humans were made for judging. They do it 24/7 whether they are conscious of it or not. The human brain is primarily a discriminating device. Thinking comes second and is decidedly optional for most.
This me-oriented problem has gotten so bad, that on the rare occasion when I engage in actual TWO-WAY communication, it leaves me shaken and in a stupor. It’s kind of like a post-orgasmic euphoric glow. Dare I say, it can actually put me in a good mood.
Thank God that sort of thing almost never happens in this great nation full of self-centered assholes.
We’re you talking to me?
Oh God… I actually disagree with her. I don’t think listening involves being vulnerable… what? Maybe I wasn’t listening at all. Hmmmm…..
That’s why I stressed that I agreed with “some” of what she had to say. Some of it just rings whack-a-doo! 🙂 Overall, though, I like her interesting perspective on the listening model. If it helps folks listen more, then I’m even ready to go New Age!
My aura is tinkling.