Labor pains for Mediocre Fred

Most people want to work. And they want just a modicum of lifestyle, dignity and respect.

Ah, Labor Day! For me it’s usually a day of conflicted duality.

Last year my old boss made us work on Labor Day. For him, it was just another opportunity to make more money for himself. Strangely enough, though, he gave himself the day off. We did all the work and, as usual, he received the bulk of the riches we made while sitting on his ass. Another capitalistic win-win!

This year I have a new boss who, even though he’s equally greedy, at least allowed us the choice to work or not. Gee, what do you think I picked? Hello three-day weekend!

My boss for the previous five years made us work every single holiday except Thanksgiving and Christmas. (Yes, we even worked Christmas Eve.) So I’m grateful that the new boss makes it optional. Even if it does mean a day without pay.

As I said goodbye to my new boss on Friday afternoon, his biggest worry was that his wife wouldn’t let him work on Monday. For him, work is an escape from home, family, children and his wife. I find that sad. Life isn’t about how many hours you can spend at the office. It’s about the quality time you share with the people you love. The boss loves money.

For me, Labor Day represents a day free from the pain of my work life. Being able to escape the bullshit – even for only one day – is a precious gift like nectar from the gods.

I appreciate you, Labor Day. And, it might surprise some folks, but what we celebrate on Labor Day we basically owe to a union. (I know that is a curse word to some.) According to DOL.gov, “The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union.”

The Central Labor Union of New York, Brooklyn, and New Jersey was an early trade union organization that later broke up into various locals, which are now AFL-CIO members. The establishment of the CLU predates the consolidation of New York City (1897) by nearly two decades and is best known as the organization that created the American Labor Day holiday. (Source: Wikipedia.)

The idea of a Labor Day originally started in the states until eventually it was formally recognized by Congress.

Through the years the nation gave increasing emphasis to Labor Day. The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances passed during 1885 and 1886. From them developed the movement to secure state legislation. The first state bill was introduced into the New York legislature, but the first to become law was passed by Oregon on February 21, 1887. During the year four more states — Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York — created the Labor Day holiday by legislative enactment. By the end of the decade Connecticut, Nebraska, and Pennsylvania had followed suit. By 1894, 23 other states had adopted the holiday in honor of workers, and on June 28 of that year, Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September of each year a legal holiday in the District of Columbia and the territories. (Source: DOL.gov.)

Recently my boss asked me about city government and what I would do if I was in charge. It’s always a mistake to engage in discussion of things political or religious with people you don’t like, but even more so at work. He wanted to know if I sided with the “no taxes” nutcases in our county.

I explained that, at least at the local level, I supported even bigger government.

This really took him aback. When he asked what I meant, I said that I enjoy having having things like strong police and fire departments. I said that I would go even further and actually grow our city services. I think we should have our own department of animal control rather than relying on the county which devotes a single person to that function. A single position for the entire county who only scratches the surface and doesn’t accomplish much.

The county also closed all branches of the library. I said there is no reason why the city couldn’t have a library of its own if that is something the people support and are willing to pay for. I used to live in a town smaller than this one and it had an awesome city library. I spent a lot of time there when I was growing up.

“Libraries should pay for themselves,” he said. “If the market doesn’t support them then they shouldn’t exist.” Then he trotted out the most knee jerk red herring of them all. “Besides, we’ve got the internet.”

I disagreed. I argued that libraries provide a benefit to society that can’t be measured by merely looking at how much they cost.

“I would never vote for you,” he said.

I think I responded with something about not wanting to live on his planet, one that I described as “knee-deep in petroleum.” Can you imagine what it would be life if humans did nothing except that which was profitable?

On another occasion we discussed an imaginary worker I’m going to call “Mediocre Fred” (for the sake of simplicity).

Fred is an honest, hard-working guy. He’s worked ever since he was 16. He has a high school diploma. Older now, and single, he works 40 hours a week. He makes minimum wage, has no benefits of any kind, no health, no dental, no vacation days, no paid days off, no sick pay. If he takes a day off for a holiday or vacation, he doesn’t get paid for it, so he usually works 52 weeks, only taking a couple of days off per year.

Fred is a decent, law-abiding, decent human being who believes in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. And he’s never taken a penny of government assistance and he pays his taxes. Thanks to labor law, Fred gets two 10 minute breaks a day and a 30-minute unpaid lunch period. Without those laws, his boss would think it was fair to work him all day with no breaks under constant threat of termination.

The subject of discussion: How should a society treat a person like Fred?

Again I unwisely got sucked into a discussion with my boss who, as usual, took a hardline position. He said that things like a car, a television in the home, a telephone, cable, pets, a computer, internet access should all be considered as “luxuries” for someone like Fred.

I was fairly astounded by this. “What the fuck is Fred supposed to do? Get off work, dutifully go to his completely bare home, and sit on a chair and do nothing but daydream until it is time to report to his next work shift? Fuck, according to you, he can’t even go to a goddamned library. What the fuck is this guy supposed to do? What kind of fucking life is that?”

The Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour. (Some states optionally have higher minimums.) If Fred puts his nose to the grindstone and works 40 hours a week for 52 weeks a year (no holidays) he can earn a whopping $15,080 a year. Even at that low amount, the refund estimator at 1040.com says that Fred will still owe about $573 yearly in federal taxes. Withholding won’t do the job and the estimator shows that Fred will end up owing a payment of $173 on April 15th.

I tried making a theoretical budget for Fred. The assumption is that Fred is excellent with money and really good at making and following a budget. His monthly net income is $1,131. He budgets 40% to rent or $452. He also budgets 18% to food or $204. (Those percentages are realistic and based on economist recommendations I found on the internet.) He also budgets $50 for utilities, $20 for garbage, $25 for water bill, $50 for medical expenses, and $25 for clothes and other necessities. That’s one simple fucking budget. And, to please my boss, it doesn’t include ANY of the so-called “luxury” items. Fred doesn’t have a car – he walks or bikes to work – and he has no TV or internet in the home.

It’s noteworthy that Fred only allocates about $600 for medical expenses per year. This is probably enough for a few doctor visits and a few prescriptions. This is also supposed to cover all of his dental needs, too.

That leaves a whopping $330 a month in the “discretionary” spending for Fred. That covers things like savings, entertainment, and unplanned expenses. If we ignore my douchebag of a boss, then it also covers things like TV, internet and maybe a pet. If we factor in some of those things, Fred’s discretionary money shrinks considerably.

If find it interesting that a guy who lives in a mansion on a hill, owns several gigantor SUV rigs and has discretionary spending money more than four times my salary feels it is right and proper to opine about what constitutes “luxuries” for other people like Fred. There’s not a week that goes by when the dude doesn’t have multiple packages full of toys arrive at our shop. iPads, computers, useless shit from fancy boutique stores, and more. Every week! I’d describe his lifestyle as decadent and lavish compared to poor Fred. (Poor in an economic sense.)

Do a comparison between the boss and Fred and it gets worse. Yes, the boss does work longer hours, but that’s in large part because he wants to avoid his home life. Much of his time spent at the shop is spent playing on the computer, napping on the sofa, spending hours on personal calls, and cooking in his kitchen away from home. He may be at the office 70 or more hours a week, but he certainly doesn’t work all of them. Not by a long shot.

And, of course, the other comparison is that Fred is a decent, honest fellow. The boss lies, cheats and steals for his personal bounty. It’s not like he works that much harder than Fred. It can be far easier to lie and cheat your way than do it fairly, eh?

To me, the question is: How does a society value the contributions of these two people? In my opinion the boss is a waste. He performs a function that produces a profit but does little that is of value. Yeah, he is good at getting stupid, bullshit and meaningless products, and selling them to a people that crave such things. But what value does this add to anything? I think it’s sick.

Some people love to bitch about people on welfare and those who depend on “entitlements” and abuse the system. We’ve all heard the belly aching about how some people feel they are “paying for” others. Yet Fred isn’t included in this. Even though some people drop out of high school, he didn’t. True, he didn’t go to college, but he may not have had the same opportunity as some. Or maybe he just didn’t want that path.

What is the American dream? Is it only available to a select few? Should versions of it be available to others? Even those who don’t do important stuff like resell whoopie cushions and fake vomit? How will a society treat someone who stays off the teat and performs honorable work and works full time to support himself? Doesn’t Fred represent that which the bitchers say they want? Someone who supports himself, doesn’t take from the system (he actually puts in) and works hard and is responsible?

Some people are terrified at the thought of a person who doesn’t work. So damn terrified that people like Fred get lost in the cracks.

Is an existence that consists of nothing but being a good little worker going to be enough for Fred? Is that fair? Is it right? I say if anyone deserves a little piece of the American dream apple pie it is Fred. Without workers even the fatcats can’t exist.

The debate about the causality of wealth on the crime rate and other societal ills is a hotly contested one. I personally believe there is a correlation. I believe that if you want people to obey the law, you have to give them something of value that is worth protecting. They have to have something to lose. If we deny people even that much then their choices can’t really be that surprising. Like most things, by doing the right thing up front, we end up making things better for anyone and, in turn, even ourselves. Too bad most people can’t seem to see past their noses that far.

I ask many questions in this post. There are likely an infinite number of answers. But at the very least I hope I give a few of you a little something to think about. I apologize that I’m not very good at expressing these sorts of thoughts.

This Labor Day I hope you will go out and do two things: Save a little extra spit for people like the boss and tip our hats to people like Mediocre Fred, even if he is a theoretical bastard born solely of my fertile imagination! 🙂

Here’s a song about Mediocre Fred. I’m sorry about the video, which has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but it is all I could find on YouTube:

Edit: Aug. 5, 2012: The video originally shown here has been changed due to YouTube pulling it down. This video is here only for the audio of the song. The visual portion of this video is just random from the internet and not related to the specific topics of this post. I apologize, but it’s the best way I could find to share this song.