ESPN goes on strike
Tonight while channel flipping I happened to catch the last two outs of a game between Boston and Minnesota on ESPN. The first thing that caught my eye was a strike zone graphic. My first thought? “That shit is lame.”
I kept waiting for it to go away. It didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with the thing on an instant replay, especially on an interesting pitch, situation, or questionable call from the ump.
But to leave that thing on all the time? It’s grotesque.
ESPN calls it the “K-Zone.” If a pitch “should” have been called a strike, regardless of what the umpire called, the box will briefly turn yellow.
Personally I think ESPN is missing a bit opportunity here. Why not fill that space with a Nike logo or a few Viagra pills? More advertising, baby!
As a matter of fact, why not convert the whole grassy area of the ball park into a giant logo. PETCO Park? The athletes could literally be playing on PETCO field!
Speaking of the athletes, there is way too much unused space on their uniforms for more advertising. Perhaps FOX News could adapt their “crawl” to display there. You could be entertained by baseball, learn about important products and be educated in the myriad of ways that Obama sucks – all at the same time!
Talk about multitasking!
Of course, every three seconds or so a blimp should fly across the screen to remind you that it is time to “grab some Buds.”
A few more ideas:
- Display the position over player’s heads at all time. P for pitcher, C for catcher, 1B for the first baseman, etc. Remember: Fans are idiots.
- On fly balls have a little robot run across the screen and display the odds the fielder will drop the ball.
- Display Lady Gaga videos on the mound during the game, because, oh hell! Where else would she be?
Come on, MLB! Think outside the bun! That reminds me. All the bases should be tacos and home plate should be a chalupa.
Termination Tuesday – Round 3
Termination Tuesdays – Ways To Die Poll
The madness continues…
The premise is simple. It’s a poll comparing two ways to die to find out which one is liked the least. Fun, eh? I guess that will be determined by the execution of this idea.
Heh! I slay me! 🙂
We’ll do it bracketology style. If I can think of 64 worthy entrants, each weekly poll will eliminate one contender. Eventually we’ll be left with only the final four and then we can have some sudden death playoffs.
Yeah, that’ll be fun! Come on and play along. After all, it won’t kill you now, will it?
Last week: It’s still up in the air. Deadlocked! Decapitation vs. Airplane Crash are running neck and neck. If you relish the thought of being a tie-breaker, be sure to go vote! Click here to go do your civic duty. Remember – little grim reaper is watching!