When only the full Weiner will do

As a public service I am bringing you the full transcript of tweets from the sordid Weiner Affair.

Warning: Do not read pass the jump if you are easily offended by the twitterings of the horny.

If you do make the jump, enjoy the time-honored art of seduction in all of its glory.

Bold text is Congressman Anthony Weiner

Plain text is Lisa Weiss

August 13th 2010

it is actually you? i am trying to find the wonderful anthony wiener who i feel in love with for yelling at those damn repubs the other day! and u are funny as hell on the daily show! your friend requests are full..you must friend me! you are awesome!

is this really lisa?

hahaha! it is you! i am honoured to be your fb friend! you are the coolest dem on the planet! they need to all be as tough as you…and you are damn funny! keep fighting for the sane people in this country!

thank you lisa. glad you have my back. you keeping an eye on that wackadoodle angle for us?

how insane is she? who needs social security, medicare or education? if this wacko wins my state i swear i will have to move! she may be dumber than plain! and that is tough to find!

August 14th 2010

so give me the insider dope. are people buying what she is selling? do you and i have to kick a little gop ass?

August 19th 2010

idiots i work with love this stupid b**ch! i ask them all if they will be turning down their social security and medicare…let’s kick some gop ass! i hate them!

ok, you and me will suit up like superheroes and defeat them. what will we call ourselves?

you are too funny! we could be the jew.o.p! what will we wear?

September 17th 2010

i like this cute new pics of you! when r you coming to vegas to help me beat up the right wing crazies?

this is my “pull my finger” shot. glad you like. i’m ready for a vegas trip. truth telling during the day. got a night plan for us?

haha..that was a very loaded questions! i’ve got all kinds of night plans for us! when are you coming?

dunno. make me an offer i can’t refuse.

to get us in the mood. first we watch back to back episodes of the daily show and colbert report…then, to really spice things up we go deface all of my neighbor’s sharon angle yard signs…then when we are really hot we go to the bookstore and cover all of the glen beck books with copies of “the audacity of hope!”…i do this about once a week (you can tell i am a very exciting girl!)…or if this i not your thing, we can just get drunk and have mad, passionate sex!

why choose? with me behind you can’t we both watch daily show?

Hhaha! see…you are always thinking! you are so right…aahhh the perfect liberal evening!

i hear liberal girls are very, uh, accommodating of others

of course! it is all about taking care of the little guy!

little?! ouch. you’d be surprised how big’

September 19th 2010

oh good i love surprises! also, that thing must be HUGE cause right after you sent me that message, my computer crashed for about 2 hours! that ought to make you feel quite manly! but you did give me something fun to think about during my very boring night at work! thanks

i’m glad you got a little worked up at work. any after work relaxation techniques i should know about?

haha! you are a naughty boy! i’ll have to wait to share all of the details till i meet you in person

September 20th 2010

computer back up? no sense in you being clever if nobody can read it. good morning.

hi honey! computer’s back up…what’s up with you? busy saving my country rom this f***in tea baggers?

Yep. Cape. Tights. Looking for my sidekick.

September 21st 2010

oooohhh…i bet you look hot in tights! can i be your sidekick? get your ass to vegas!!

stop staring at my weapon! I’m effecting the vegas trip. this whole reelection thing is keeping me tied up.

i cat wait to meet you in person! and i’ll stare at your weapon if i want to, dammit! I understand this reelection stuff may take some time, but i really feel that my needs are waayyy more important! what is kinda funny is that i was looking at my fb page for something and i had posted that i wanted to bang you like a month ago! i think it was after you called lieberman a pr**k! not that was hot!

i’m all about your needs believe me. a month ago? did my moment pass?

haha…no! that was before i even knew you were so damn funny

Sign on to fb chat. i’m dying of boredom over here. (plus my tights really itch, I need a distraction)

September 22nd 2010

i am drunk and thinking about you…what have u done u done to me? i am being bold and leaving u my number..call me 702 *** ****!

i am super drunk right now..ooops! and zoo want to talk to u! am i like a Facebook stalker? am i allowed to drunk dial a congressman? i think u r so totally hot and u r lucky i don’t have your number right now…

how did i miss this chance to rock your world by phone? give me another chance! stalk me baby, very hot.

September 23rd 2010

so glad you are cool with me stalking you! didn’t want you to call homeland security on me!

no, we have a special secret agency that deals with hot women

September 25th 2010

where did my favourite dirty facebooker go? i’m getting kind of addicted to you

hey sexy. sorry i’ve been away from a computer so long. so, what are you wearing?

September 26th 2010

hey you! assuming you are sleeping since it is way early on a sunday morning…getting ready to take my beloved ambien and crash out since you are not available to talk dirty to me before bed…oh well…you know you are going to have to give me a number that i can drunk dial you at one of these days!

September 28th 2010

whoa. Super intense dream bout u just now. Woke me up.

that is fu**ing awesome! don’t know i you are still up…but we really need to discuss this further! that’s the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a while!

damn! you either went back to sleep or to work saving the world..you see why i need your number when you leave me such good messages?

nope, not sweet. crazy dirty

i know…..i want all the dirty details!

Baby, u have to post some fresh pictures.

September 29th 2010

I know! i am so not smart enough to download pics! these are just s****y ones people emailed me….when i see you we can take all kids of pics!

wake the f*** up and call me! don’t you love how i yell at you???! am getting drunk (again) and my plans fell thru…want to talk to you!

i was on tv this morning. you check me out?

why didn’t you tell me? i sooo missed u! what channel? call me dammit!


aawww you left me naked and unsatisfied in front of my computer….you are such a tease! i have to get a webcam!

October 3rd 2010

wher u been wiener? like this new pics…u look pi**ed! just not at me i hope. I am once again drunk and thinking of you instead of sleeping

October 10th 2010

okay…what the hell happened to you> i was enjoying our fb love affair..where’d you go? are you fb cheating on me?

November 19th 2010

where u been? fighting the good fight for my country? send me a message! I miss you

December 23rd 2010

you were amazing on parker/spitzer today! you are becoming like a i tell you how movie star these days…all over tv! congrats on 911 health care bill! may i tell you how amazing and brilliant you are? except that u suck cause u never call me!

January 19th 2011

hi stranger! watching you be awesome on keith right now! you are the best! where have you been? miss our chats?

January 20th 2011

baby where have YOU been? how are you?

i have been here…just waiting for you to come and visit me in vegas when you are done saving the country from the evil republicans!

February 2nd 2011

where are you you hot congressman? let’s have some fb sex?

hey sexy baby. i miss you.

honey! miss u too! what have you been up to? soooo wanted to drunk dial you last night…..wish i had your number!

February 18th 2011

nothing is hotter than watching you be brilliant and take down jeffrey tobin on anderson cooper!

February 23rd 2011

U left me hi and dry (actually w*t) today! i want the real anthony sex…not just fb sex!

March 3rd 2011

u on here/

hey sexy

What’s up baby

hold on. let me look. Whoa, looks like I am wanna ride it?

hard for me?

you like me big and fat

only ur c***

your p**** still tight and w*t for me baby?

yea..getting drunk and about to bang my f*** friend…till u get here…he will take some dirty pics of me 4 u.

think of my rock hard c***. practice saying, ‘god, anthony, I’m c****ing again.

I will do that 4 u. waiting it out till u get here and f*** the s*** out of me. where did u go Anthony?

shower. still h**d. thinking of you on me while I kiss your t***. Hold you down and take you deep

I’m about to bang my friend cause ur not here..will call him anthony

I hope he has a big c***

huge…u are gonna have obe up him…get here

you will gag on me before you c** with me in you

he’s finger******* right now while I type this…knows I lve u

off to class. Pics

soon…get her god dammit! I must have your c***

March 12th 2011

what a great surprise to turn on colbert the other day and see your hot face! and how cute and funny you were..are you wearing your colbert wriststrong bracelet? mine never comes off! and thanks for yelling at that right wing c*** gretchen…nice job!

March 16th 2011

u on here?

hello lisa

hi baby! sent you a message the other day, but i think it went on instant chat for some odd reason

i missed it. sorry sweetie

no prob…i was so psyched to see u on colbert! you were so funny

you watch it naked?

haha! of course! u need to let me know when your are going to be on tv! i keep missing you

you don’t get my twitter feed?

<= feelings hurt

i do! and I’m still waiting 4 ur barmitva pics! but I don’t get on twitter everyday, so i don’t always get to catch your hot face on all your shows

ah i ran the bar mitzvah pics btw

ooohhh..i can’t wait to see it! I will go there before bed! you are sooo awesome when you yell at those fox news f***s! that clip was awesome

i’m glad you like

are you as passionate in the sack as u are about politics? I’m getting bored of my f*** friend

baby you’d be crawling for the door to prevent me from f***ing you silly

nice, just what I’m looking for. I want to bang the future mayor of nyc!

making me h**d

I love that you are always h**d when I talk to you

I’m horny a lot. sorry

me too! u have that affect on me

he make you c**?

sometimes..but he’s not as hot as you. he tells me I’m too wild for him…he can’t handle me..i bet u can handle anything

I want to feel you c** with my fat c*** in you

Oooohhhh I want that so bad…I am so attracted to you I would probably c** in like 5 minutes

when am I gonna get some lisa pics to j**k off too?

he wanted to take some the other day and I was gonna sent them 2 u but it was too dark and they didn’t show up..I was actually drunk enough to let someone take naked pics of me

go into the bathroom mirror now. I’m like a rock

you know I got no camera. I would..touch your giant c*** for me

It needs your p**** juice

I have lots of it for you

off to the shower this thing is bobbing up and down

aahh…wish I was in the shower with you to help

you give good h**d?

i’ve been told really good…I love doing it

wow a jewish girl who sucks c***! this thing is ready to do damage

and swallows every drop. god damn how do I get you here to f*** me?

<= thinking about gagging your hot mouth with my c***

the anticipation of f****** you is driving me crazy! come to vegas so I can suck your c*** for an hour. you must be in the shower…i am getting very nice visual before bed. I’ll probably have some filthy dreams about you (again!)”

clean. but still h**d

that was fast…you didn’t take care of that h**d on for me? I want to hear you c** so bad

i’m pretty chatty/noisy in bed

me too. that is such a turn on to me.

i’ll be telling you what dirty things I’m thinking

i love that. I talk like a filthy wh**e in bed…even though i am such a nice wholesome jewish girl (haha). i love when a guy j**ks off on the phone for me…that is so hot..I at least need to hear your voice when u c**

you will surely make noise when I take you deep. i will tell you how tight your p**** feels

yes I will…and it is very tight..i hope I can handle that big c*** of yours..I will be sore for days

ridiculous bulge in my shorts now. wanna see?

yea. can u send a pic? I want to sit on your c*** so bad right now

jeez. i’m rushing. let me take a quick pic

awesome…how do I get it? right on here?

how are you going to work with a raging h**d on?

it won’t go away, and now I’m taking pics of it, making me ha**er still.”

so hot! u are making me w*t again

jeez I have to go. i’ll hit you later

awwww…u better

April 5th 2011

wher you been sexy? had a greet filthy dream about u the other night

hot. tell.

April 7th 2011

catching up on my daily shows..did u know were the ‘moment of zen’? u were so funny with your weiner/bohner joke! u are too cute! get ur ass 2 work and save my country from these c*** sucking repubs!

I like it when you talk about c*** sucking

these f****ers are pi**ing me off


I love that u bought the dr suess book

something on my level

U r soo cute  will u punch boehner in the head, please. tony..where r u?

sorry, i was punching the speaker

right n! have u been up 4 days. will u hire me to be your fluffier

you would be good at that. your little pic makes me h**d

i a so ito u ..u have no idea

oops…my grammer is suffering with my wine. i love that u r sooo hot and such a liberal

I was hoping my fat c*** would be a selling point too

yes..it is i sooo want to f*** the s**t out of u. i want to get on a plant rite nw and bang u


will u call me rite now and we can have phone sex? 702 *** ****

getting in to the shower

call me when you get out

April 13th 2011

hey u

why hello

don’t you ever sleep?

uh, its 9 here. my lisa time

awe..i love that i need some anthony time. u must be working again…thought it was my time!

April 28th 2011

hey u!

April 29th 2011

u on here?

hey baby

hi honey! where u been

out. about. the usual. miss me?

yes, what are u doing up so late?

dunno, woke up sweaty…and h**d

nice, were you having hot dreams?

i don’t remember. but looking down I’d say yes

i love that you are always so horny! am i ever gonna actually get to f*** u

would that be good? i imagine you rocking my world

i would love to! that anticipation is killing me

i keep going back to your page looking for new pics to get off too

i do need to get some. i keep seeing you on tv and you are so sexy. hey are you facebook two-timing me?”

yeah. big time

you facebook slut


i bet you have so many chicks after you! you are our liberal stud

tonight i’m just a man with a raging h**d on

wish I was there to f*** s*** out of you

i need it

don’t you ever get to vegas? i just need to have u for one night

i have too

will u really? i know u are a great f***. i have never wanted to b**g someone so bad who I’ve never even met

i’m so f***ing hard right now

i want to sit on your big hard c***

i hope that’s the way you like em

of course! I know u are huge…had so many dirty dreams about u are u jerking off to another fb girl? maybe we need a fb threeway

nah, actually fading off

“awww. u going to sleep without taking care of your c*** for me?

taking him to bed. goodnight sexy

goodnight baby! get your hot ass to vegas!

May 23rd 2011

what’s up stranger?

May 31st 2011

omg! are u okay? so sorry u got hacked…i know u would never do anything like have fb sex or take pics of your c***…who is the b***** who ratted u out? I am the only fb chick u can trust

June 1st 2011

u owe me big time for keeping this all quiet…i am defending u to the death on every blog and to everyone….telling everyone u would never send dirty messages to women  i know u haven’t been on here since u were hacked but i NEED to talk to u…someone    contacted me about u…call me or something.

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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