Did you hear the one ... ?
When it comes to social media I guess you could say I act just like my real life self: Socially awkward.
I don’t have that many followers on my Twitter. Currently I’m at an all-time high with 68. And a lot of those are people who describe themselves as “founders” of consulting companies, entrepreneurs, and social media experts. In other words, people who will follow practically anyone (self-evident, I know!) and don’t actually know a damn thing about me.
Thankfully most of the people are real and wonderful and considered valued friends that I’ve made exclusively through my blogging.
Credit: Wikipedia
Verily, when it comes to Twitter I value quality over quantity.
And I’m not normally one to come right out and ask for the social connections. Self-promotion is not my strong suit. My strategy so far has been, “just be yourself.” Hmm, on second thought, maybe my social situation isn’t so mysterious after all! 🙂
This time, though, I’m doing a science experiment and I need your help. (Yeah, we’ll call it that.) Last night in front of the telly I wrote a tweet that I instantly fell in love with. I bolted from my chair, but by the time I reached the computer I had already forgotten it. Damn. Then, this morning, a cat rubbed up against my leg and it all came back to me.
@shoutabyss
Tom B. TakerSamuel L. Jackson narrates a new Disney movie: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking cats on these motherfucking plains!
That’s the tweet. LOL! Sometimes I crack myself up. Too bad most of the world it still missing out on my unique humor stylings and wit. Yeah, it sucks to be them.
So, just this once (yeah right) I’m asking my Twitter and blogging pals: If you like the tweet, please retweet it. Let’s see if we can make it all trendy and shit.
Shameless self-promotion and self-flagellation. That’s the new me.
If you like the tweet, “retweet” it, if you dare.
Shouts from the Abyss 
I’ve only got one thing to say that I’m sorry you missed or didn’t point out.
That bird on the left is farting a symphony!
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I’m glad you noticed. I’ve always be very proud of that little bit of the image. I made it myself, you know. Mad design skillz, yo.
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I’m happy to hear that was your dooing.
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I excel at doo doo.
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I think I’ve got you beat. I don’t have a twitter account. Or a facebook account. I am the fricken invisible man. I’m anonymous on every site I visit. I use fake email addresses. I’ve left a trail of aliases across forums. Hell, I could be anybody. Not that I am, mind you… I’m nobody. And I aim to keep it that way!
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I envy you. I plan to follow suit. At least with accounts under my real name, although I hear that “deleting” your Facebook account can be a real motherfucker. As in, they don’t let you.
I accept your challenge! My goal is to be 10 times the nobody that you are. Game on!
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…”a cat rubbed up against my leg…” You’re not one of those lonely old geezers living a life of quiet desperation surrounded by antiquated videos games and old tins of sardines…are you?
I re-tweeted you…tried to resist but the Borg that is my inner monkey made me.
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OMG do I love cats or what? I consider them God’s greatest creation. A marvel of engineering. Except for the pee and the vomit.
My cat’s think I’m their momma and follow me from room to room. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m Catman. Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Resistance is futile. Your retweet distinctiveness will be added to our own.
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Consider it done. I am a very humble twitterer too. I like to just lurk in the background and see what’s happening. Your tweets are really funny, though. Keep up the good work!
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I’m touched and honored that four of you heard my plea and decided to help.
Thanks! ❤
Twitter is a "tough crowd." You don't often get feedback on your stand up comedy routines. 🙂
Thanks for the kind words.
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