Of course, this particular round of Jeopardy is based on my career. Your mileage may vary…

One of these created the Guru of Negativity.

What is a job?

Thoughtless, rude and dumb, but orders you around and tells you what to do.

What is a boss?

A special subclass of neanderthal humans required for a job to exist.

What are customers?

Time periods required by law that never happen.

What are breaks?

Documents that contain lower numerical figures than they should.

What are paychecks?

Work that employees aren’t allowed to perform.

What are job titles?

Cleaning toilets, emptying trashcans, sales, talking on phones with customers.

What are regular work tasks?

One of the most fucked up legal principles of all time.

What is at-will employment?

Something you get for acting similar to the boss. Example: Late to work.

What is a warning?

A 10 percent discount on despised retail products.

What is a benefit?

Where words spoken in confidence will be communicated to all employees.

What is human resources?

A $50 gift card to Wal-Mart.

What is a yearly bonus?

When you work or you don’t get paid.

What are holidays?

A boss considers it generous but an employee calls it an insult.

What is a wage?

A day you get ignored for work tasks normally performed.

What is secretary’s day?

Updating this on your own time can get you fired.

What is Facebook?

Always located within 10 feet of your desk.

What is a toilet?

Can you think of any others? Make up some of your own!

Bonus pictorial section – You Think Your Job Sucks???

This is my “J” post for the April 2011 “A to Z Blogging Challenge.”