Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals

Four Horsemen expansion pack shown (available 2012)

Finally, we’re bringing the fun and excitement of Christmas to the Apocalypse…

The Lamb opening the book with seven seals. Source: Wikipedia.

Announcing the Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals, another quality Shouts from the Abyss product.

From the company that brought you Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Army Men and The Shake Your Baby Baby doll, comes the season’s hit must-have consumable merchandise.

Play along at home as worldwide events build to a climax celebrating each milestone by opening a panel to reveal a secret surprise!

Critics literally rave:

“I wouldn’t be caught dead without mine!”

“Being judged can wait. I have to find out what’s behind that next damn seal!”

“Finally, something that makes reading the news more fun!”

“After I finish opening all the seals I’m going to Disneyland!”

The artwork on this limited edition collectible is legendary and sure to cast the right mood for that end-of-days spirit.

Makes a great gift for young collectors who want to have fun while learning about how they’ll be spending the rest of eternity.

Don’t miss your opportunity to acquire all of the special art panels and expansion packs in the first Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals issued to date by Shouts from the Abyss. This piece showcases the finest craftsmanship ever struck by the Abyss honoring all of the seven seals. Each calendar guaranteed to be in brilliant uncirculated condition, richly layered and sealed inside a clear, protective capsule with with privately applied hologram Abyss security seal.

  • FREE custom-designed cherrywood-finish display case.
  • Each Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals will be accompanied by a specially prepared reference card.
  • Informative “Hidden Treasures Around You” booklet. Finding valuable apocalypse signs in everyday places.
  • Each Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals is a Limited Edition, minted for just 90 days.
  • More than a priceless value – save over infinite dollars!
  • Genuine “seal” of authenticity (that’s a little Abyss joke, get it?)

Historical accuracy is guaranteed and includes all seven seals:
Radiation Area

  • First
  • Second
  • Third
  • Fourth
  • Fifth
  • Sixth
  • Seventh
  • Asian Radiation
  • The Palin Presidency
  • Water Shortage
  • The Next Great Flood
  • Genetically-altered corn
  • and much much more!

You can bet your soul you’ll want this one. Act fast while supplies last… and before the sun turns black and the moon turns red.

5 responses

  1. There has to be a website somewhere where televangelists and general doom mongers are placing bets as to when the world is going to end. “I’d like to place 500 bucks on February 2, 2666 because I like it’s satanic implications and I’m a big fan of Roberto Bolano”


    1. Last I heard it is supposed to be May 2011. Holy shit! That’s only two months away! I was listening to religious radio, though, and they said that the Bible says no one knows the date. So anyone claiming to know is apparently at odds with the Bible.

      You forgot that February 2 is also Groundhog Day. That has got to factor in somehow!


      1. I hadn’t heard the May prediction. Now I don’t know whether to get in a bunker and wait for my inevitable demise or live life to the fullest with what little time I have left.


  2. I meant to write “February 2, 2066” Oh well I’ll probably be dead by then anyways


    1. People have been guessing wrong for a couple thousand years now. I don’t think +/- 600 is going to be that big of a deal. 🙂


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