Would it be surprising if I told you that I’m shorter in person than I appear on the blog?

Somehow I doubt it.

It turns out that the blog world and the “real” world (for lack of a better term) are decidedly different places. I guess you could say they number among the many stages where I play many varied roles.

In similar fashion, some real life folks (damn them) might not feel I’m as erudite in person as I seem to appear on the blog.

Imagine you are face-to-face with someone and engaged in conversation. Let’s assume that the other person is actually willing to stop talking long enough to let you speak and listen to what you have to say. (Hey! This is my hypothetical. I can make it as outrageous and unrealistic as I want.)

Further, let’s say you are expounding on an utterly fascinating topic of great import to the entire universe. Your strangely attentive companion is hanging on your every word. Wow, situations like this don’t just grow on trees!

In that sort of scenario, what is the one thing you cannot do?

I suggest it is this: Control-T (to open a tab) to a new dimension and look up an elusive word in the dictionary.

Yet, when writing a blog or composing a tweet, I often find myself doing exactly that to help plug some leaking hole in my brain. I realized that it just might make me look smarter than I really is.

So I just wanted to take time out of my day to say thank you to the series of tubes, the internet, the internat*, WordPress, and even Twitter and so forth for making me look smarter (and taller) than I really is in the real world. I owe you one, guys. Just don’t ever ask me how to pronounce one of those words I’ve looked up. That’s the exact moment when the whole house of cards takes a tumble. Laws, yes.

* I received a package from the “internat” the other day. I know this because it said so right on the box!