Sometimes I wake up in the morning and lay in bed and linger and just let whatever thoughts that might be drifting by land in my ol’ empty head. This morning the following bit of lyrical poetry is what materialized out of the freakin’ blue.
No, I’m not kidding.
Do not ask me why. Also, don’t ask me why I feel like sharing it, either. Did I ever mention I like to be pathetic?
Here at the Abyss I like to bring as much variety to you as I possibly can. Something tells me posts like this one meet that humble goal only too well…
Leave this blog. Now. I urge you. Beyond here, there be dragons!
Sperm Donor
Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor,
Make me a batch,
Grind me a grind
Scratch me a batch
Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor
Read a porn book,
And make me a perfect batch
Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor
Fill up that pail
I’ll bring my womb
Try not to fail
Bring me a batch – it’s not wrong you’ll agree
To make a test tube baby
Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor,
Make me a batch,
Grind me a grind,
Scratch me a batch,
Night after night in the dark I’m alone
So help me to hatch,
On my own
Shouts from the Abyss 
Can I please borrow this to use in my interview process for a baby daddy? Please and thank you!
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But of course. I think it’ll really help you to find a superior … product.
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Oh no, haha
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“Oh no” is right! I was worried about this. Someone sweet and innocent finding my blog and being tainted by my ways. Please forgive me. 🙂
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I can pretty much guess why he’s a sperm donor blahahhahahaa 🙂
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Is that a polite way of calling me special? If so, I’ll take it, and proudly display it next to my “participant” ribbon.
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Addendum – I love the relationship between WordPress and Google. Within mere minutes after saving this post my blog was #3 in Google for the phrase, “sperm donor poetry.” And I think that’s important!
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I laughed, I cried, I gagged a little.
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The perfect response!
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Do people get paid for sperm donorationing? I mean Officially, not like my god-daughter’s sperm donor, who was just an irresponsible a-hole (the mother, too).
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LOL! You’re right, of course. There are two kinds of sperm donors. I’m a father to one.
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*snort* *gag*
I think there’s medication for that, you know…
😀
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Say what? Lipitor? Plavix? Ambien? Do tell!!!
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Bahahaha! I wonder if my sperm donor made a poem prior to, or during, his deposit 🙂
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One can hope!
And good luck with that, by the way. And thanks for the comment!
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My friend and I have already cornered the market on sperm poetry, or what we’ve affectionately termed, “Spermetry.”
You can read about it here: http://travelindreams.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/spermetry/
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I like your spunk, but I have to challenge your use of the word “already.” You see, my poem has a publication date of December 2010, and yours is August 2011. Still, I wish you the best of luck following in my most humble footsteps.
I shall be watching your efforts with interest! 🙂
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You’re in a funk with
All this talk of spunk
Maybe you think I’m just a punk?
Throwin out terms like junk?
I’ll save you a chunk
Of this magical bunk
Inseminate a smile on your face
To replace
Your faux copywright disgrace
Leaving my trace
All over your place.
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OMG! I bow down to you. Obviously I’m not worthy. 🙂
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