Happy employees have dead spouses

Employers know that happy employees are more productive. They know that employees dealing with too many outside stressors or issues may experience a drop in productivity.

I can only assume that’s why my wife’s company (a health insurer) only covers employees – not their spouses.

If something deadly should come along and take out the spouse the employees get five days to grieve, after which they are expected to get that nose right back on that grindstone.

Mush, mush!

Even more rewarding is the benefits themselves. Of course I don’t know this information firsthand. It was related to me by my wife, who I shall refer henceforth as The Covered. She’s been experiencing intense pain in her shoulder for a long time. Her physician sent her to an orthopedist who in turn prescribed, among other things, weekly massage therapy.

The Covered went to her first visit with the message therapist where the primary event turned out to be The Covered bursting into tears and bawling like a baby in front of the doctor, patients and staff. It turned out that due to the nature of her insurance it was going to cost $150 a visit and we simply can’t afford $600 a month or more in our budget. The staff was very kind and did some extra things for her know that it was The Covered’s first and final visit.

Without those bothersome therapy sessions getting in the way I guess that frees up The Covered to focus all of her time and energy on being the best employee she can be! How will it all turn out? I don’t know. I’ll be dead by then.