Monthly Archives: September, 2010

Hyppo and Critter: Support our Troops

Underwear Goes Inside the Pants

Image Source: Wikipedia

The internet is buzzing that Greg Geraldo, one of the judges on Last Comic Standing, has died of a prescription drug overdose. If true, that fucking sucks. The dude was fucking funny.

RIP, Greg!

Here is Greg’s comedy featured in the song Underwear Goes Inside the Pants by Lazyboy. Enjoy.

Employee Whiteboard: OMGIM

The employee whiteboard from earlier this week. Now how did that F-bomb get in there, hmmm?

More entries from the demotivational dictionary

To continue the one-year celebrations here on the blog, I thought it would be fun to bring back another one of the failed memes from the past for a guest appearance. After all, if it sucked once it can suck again!

My original thought was that the Demotivational Dictionary would be an ongoing thing. But it only ever got used three times. Twice in Oct. 2009 and once in Feb. 2010 and that was it.

It then died a horrible death and was completely forgotten.

That makes it perfect for a comeback!

Here are a few more entries that I came up with this morning while in the shower. I also sketched out in my mind three more episodes of Hyppo and Critter. Yeah! Yes, the shower where I do a lot of my best thinking. On the other hand I can’t remember if I washed my hair or not. Oh well.

time – Life’s biggest mindfuck.

work – Something you have to do in order to keep your stuff and have food to eat where people dumber than you treat you like shit and command you to do idiotic things.

companyA formalized association of humans organized into a group with an overt function of making money and an implied function of fucking each over as much as possible. The best companies are ones where the overt and implied goals are at each other’s throats to the maximum extent.

Footnote: I know dictionaries are boring but thanks for reading all the way to the end. I hope this post wasn’t too intellectual.

Feeling blogged down

If I'm involved then that is an extreme overvaluation.

I love you bloggers, yo! ❤

In fact, a little too much. When I see a blog I like, I do not hesitate to pound the “Subscribe” function. I make absolutely no effort to restrain myself in any way. Me likey, me clicky.

And therein lies the problem.

I’m on blogger overload!

Call me obsessed. Say I have the blogger version of OCD. I don’t know what to do!

First, I don’t have a lot of free time in my average day. Second, I am attempting to keep up with more blogs than I can even read. How in the name of Zeus’ butthole am I going to comment on them, too?

One thing I really love doing is commenting on blogs other than my own. Seriously, I get a lot of enjoyment from that. And because I’m all blogged down, that has suffered. A lot.

I sincerely apologize. Lately I’ve been a very bad bloggy friend.

Curious about the numbers, I went and took a look. According to WordPress I currently subscribe to 52 blogs. (That wasn’t easy to figure out, either, since the Manage my Subscriptions function doesn’t count them for me.) Wow!

The goal I set for myself was to comment on most of your posts, especially the ones I found most interesting. I also review Freshly Pressed daily. And, somehow, I have impulsively made a commitment to post on my own blog … every … single … day.

I’m doomed!

So now I’m realizing that I can’t follow every WordPress blog.

Please know that if I haven’t commented on your blog for a little while it is nothing personal. I still love you. I just gotta figure out a way to get a handle on things before I blog myself up. Is there a self-help group for this sort of thing? 🙂

The Abyss celebrates blogiversary

I am proud to say that I practice the craft of blog making.

Wowsa. I wasn’t paying attention and my one-year blogivesary already flew by. Sorry I’m three days late with this hoopla and celebration…

This whole thing started back on September 24, 2009. I launched the blog with a post about the song “Pork and Beans” by Weezer. (Such an awesome song!) That post included one of my memes right off the bat: the “t-shirt design.” I’ve come up with quite a few of them since then and fake t-shirt designs has become quite the regular theme on my blog.

Other interesting factoids:

  • I’m almost exactly a year older. Coincidence? I think not.
  • I’d been at my job 4-1/2 years. That has now ballooned to 5-1/2 years.
  • My blog has never featured on Freshly Pressed. Not even once. Yep, WordPress seemingly has a strong bias against negativity. I knew it!
  • The “eat my ass” meme was born in my 2nd post. (Yes, Charter Communications really does suck.)
  • The word “poop” is my number one all-time tag but that wasn’t initially part of my mission statement. (I would eventually go one to make it one of the core values of this blog.) The word “poop” wasn’t actually used until my 4th post. (“Gold nugget economics. I’m gold, you’re poop.“) I think this is also the first post where I hinted that I’m not exactly thrilled with my job and my boss.
  • The job thing would, of course, go on to be one of my strongest themes. I really do hate it. And there has been lots of extra special fun there of late. I hope to blog about it soon.
  • Another huge meme on the blog is the “gerbil.” That’s my own slang for a youngster who grows up but is completely irresponsible and fails to leave the house, thus delaying the onset of Empty Nest Syndrome. This led to the creation of the Gerbil Research Institute of Parental Edification (GRIPE). The first gerbil post, however, didn’t actually take place until Jan. 21, 2010. (See: Something gerbil this way comes.)
  • Along the way I played around with a few puzzles. The first of which were aerial reconnaissance and pixelization challenges. To this day one puzzle remains completely unsolved! Mwuhahahahaha!
  • In Nov. 2009 I took the NaBlPoMo challenge, which was to post every day for a month. I successfully completed that challenge and earned the badge you see on the left. I don’t officially participate in the challenge any more but I haven’t missed a day of posting since Monday, October 5, 2009. That anniversary is fast-approaching, too.

This blog isn’t all about me, though. The most rewarding thing of all has been making some new friends. I didn’t expect that. These are people I would probably have never know without WordPress and blogging. In no particular order here are some of my favorite blogs:

  • Catherine Sherman – This is an excellent and entertaining blog by a modern day Indiana Jones. She’s a journalist, photographer and has a background that includes paleontology. (That’s close enough to archeology, in my mind, to justify the fedora and whip.)
  • Teri’s Blip in the Universe – A super cool woman who fights on behalf of those affected by the BRCA gene mutation and shares her own experiences since learning of her diagnosis. What she does is heroic and I believe she is a life saver.
  • Living Dilbert – A hilarious blog about a woman working for a bunch of idiots. I can relate to that.
  • Blurt – A brilliant writer and master of humor who has been featured on Freshly Pressed several times. Also an extremely nice guy!
  • Funny In Shadows – The home of Counter Culture Clown, a world-class communicator, stand up comic and, well, a guy with a lot of anger. For me it was love at first site and/or sight. His postings have slowed of late, maybe because he works to much or maybe because some religious militants took him out, but either way he’s still worth a look. Blogivesary Trivia: Counter Culture Clown was my first “blog crush.”
  • Punch It In – Another fantastic must-read blog and Kate is someone I consider a friend. Usually funny and insightful and always entertaining!
  • Theycallmejane’s Blog – What can you say? Jane is just a wonderful person and super cool. She’s also very Freshly Pressed worthy. And, quite surprisingly, she appreciates some of the same music as me. She has depth.

I know there are tons more great friends I’ve made. Please don’t feel bad if you didn’t make this list. I consider this group of blogs the “inner circle” because I hooked up with them early and have stuck with them ever since. I’ll be featuring these wonderful peeps in a post about Inner Circle 2.0 soon, I promise. 🙂

I hope it has been fun and humorous at times. I sincerely hope those of you who have sacrificed everything to read along have survived.

Please enjoy the musical pairing that has been selected by our chef for this post:

Pig music

Here’s an old song I found about a pig. And no, this isn’t the first pig song I’ve blogged about. I seem to be developing a penchant for pig songs. Snort!

I don’t want to give away the whole story of this song, but the pig, the old lady and the old man all die.