The Abyss Carnival

At last, the Carnival came to the abyss!

It may not look like much, but this was a huge and unprecedented event here in humble Abyssia. For the first time ever the Carnival was in our neck of the woods.

The main attraction, pictured above, was a ride called The Cyclone Carousel. The carnies, however, called it The Widowmaker. Come to think of it, this was the only attraction. The photo above shows the carnival in entirety.

Perhaps feeling a bit over-enthused, I rode that thing all day until I fell off, projectile hurled, and passed out face first in my own tummy spunk. I never knew men could build such things. That ride pulled some serious G-forces and relocated my stomach. I was yelling “I feel the need for speed” and “talk to me, Goose!” as that thing spun me round and round.

The only real pain was having to get off and go back and stand in line each time I wanted to again. Well, also the time the guy on the ride in front of me pooped his pants. That was not kosher.

All we need here in Abyssia now is a 7/11 and an ATM and we’ll be just like big cities with their fancy schmacy carnivals. Las Vegas, watch your back. We’re coming for ya!

6 responses

  1. What?!? No safety straps? Where’s OSHA when you need to secure the safety of the customers? Aw, no wonder you felt sick. Just thinking about the negligence lawsuits makes my stomach turn!

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    1. We’re not used to carnivals here in the abyss, so the hustle and bustle was a bit heady for us. It didn’t cross our minds to think about safety, we were too busy having real fun. I mean, who ever heard of a ride that could set up to four people – at the same time! 🙂

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  2. Tummy spunk!?!?!?

    You are in time out. You just sit there and think about what you’ve done.

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    1. You have a keen eye, my friend. The initial draft of that sentence was decidedly different. It originally had “projectile vomit” but I didn’t like using the word “vomit” twice in such close proximity. In a flash of writer’s inspiration “tummy spunk” was born. It was a case of love at first write. 🙂

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  3. Sweet! How do we get there?

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  4. I previously posted directions to the Abyss here: On the street where you live

    See ya soon!

    🙂

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