Daily Archives: August 8th, 2010

The Abyss Carnival

At last, the Carnival came to the abyss!

It may not look like much, but this was a huge and unprecedented event here in humble Abyssia. For the first time ever the Carnival was in our neck of the woods.

The main attraction, pictured above, was a ride called The Cyclone Carousel. The carnies, however, called it The Widowmaker. Come to think of it, this was the only attraction. The photo above shows the carnival in entirety.

Perhaps feeling a bit over-enthused, I rode that thing all day until I fell off, projectile hurled, and passed out face first in my own tummy spunk. I never knew men could build such things. That ride pulled some serious G-forces and relocated my stomach. I was yelling “I feel the need for speed” and “talk to me, Goose!” as that thing spun me round and round.

The only real pain was having to get off and go back and stand in line each time I wanted to again. Well, also the time the guy on the ride in front of me pooped his pants. That was not kosher.

All we need here in Abyssia now is a 7/11 and an ATM and we’ll be just like big cities with their fancy schmacy carnivals. Las Vegas, watch your back. We’re coming for ya!