The perfect marriage of analog and digital

I would like to relate a little story. This morning my wife asked me to stop at the store on the way home from work and get some shrimp. She was making a shrimp salad using leftovers and just needed the shrimp. The little shrimp, what we sometimes call “bay shrimp” or “salad shrimp.”

“How much do you want?” I asked.

“Oh, about three handfuls,” she replied.

Wow. We yanks really do need to switch over to the metric system, don’t we? πŸ™‚

So we had a wee little problem on our hands. I don’t speak the kitchen language of dashes and handfuls and things. I like cooking by weight. I have a little digital scale for that. And if not by weight then I measure everything as accurately as I possibly can. How much could there possibly be in a measurement like “handful,” I wondered.

I decided to try to nail things down. “Three handfuls, eh? That sounds like it might be half a pound.”

“Nope,” she said. “Half a pound is not enough.”

“Well then,” I continued hopefully. “Maybe three handfuls is more like a pound?”

“Naw. A pound is more than we need. We won’t use it all.”

“Aha!” I exclaimed. “What we need is .75 pounds then.” Finally, a satisfactory answer. The matter was settled.

“Nope,” she said, shocking me out of my premature conclusion. “We need three handfuls,” she stressed again.

You see, my wife is what I’m going to refer to as “analog.” She’s very much about feelings and the arts and premonitions and intuition and some other things that don’t always make much sense to me. She doesn’t care for measurements in the kitchen and only does so when it is required. The rest of the time it is a dash of this and a dash of that. When she serves up a dish I ask, “Will you be able to replicate these results?” (Translated that means, “This dish is good but will it taste the same next time?”) But somehow she is always able to do just that. She has analog skills and powers that I just can’t understand.

Me? I’m more of a “digital” kind of guy. I like ones and zeros. Truth is a binary and that sort of thing. I often claim that the person I’d most like to be like is Mr. Spock. He’s my hero. And not the elder Spock who was an emotional wreck. I’m talking about the Mr. Spock from the original series. That guy rocked.

So we were speaking two different languages. I couldn’t help but feel amused by it. We had each drawn a little line in the sand in our kitchen and each of us was trying hard to frame the discussion our way knowing darn well the other person was being obstinate. I guess that is sometimes our way.

After work I went to the store and told the guy at the seafood counter, “Three handfuls of shrimp, please.” It turned out to be .83 pounds.

12 responses

  1. I love it! I’m guessing the guy at the seafood counter had an analog to digital converter? πŸ˜€


    1. Thanks!

      There are variables here, that’s for sure. Hand size would seem to be a primary factor. When I told the Mrs. that it was .83 pounds she said, “It must have been a man. Usually they have a woman working there!”



  2. Too funny. Except, my husband is the analog one and I’m the Spock. But, more like the elder Spock. πŸ˜‰


    1. Interesting! And didn’t the elder Spock get just a little bit goofy and downright illogical at times?


  3. Very funny. My husband and I have very different thought processes too. He’s the Spock, I’m more Counselor Deanna Troi from NG. But it works, somehow. We’re both pretty sure we might have murdered our spouses if we’d married the same personality types. Thanks for giving the actual weight of the three handfuls, I needed to know!


    1. Thanks, Mel. I think we might be onto something here. How many couples are analog/analog or digital/digital and how many have one of each? And which is best? Seems like a good subject for a nice scientific study. πŸ™‚


  4. unabridgedgirl | Reply

    Hahahah. I totally understand what she means by the three handfuls. πŸ™‚


    1. Me, too. That’s why my initial estimate was only off by .08 pounds. I’d call that a pretty acceptable margin of error! πŸ™‚


  5. The guy at the seafood counter must deal with alot of wives


    1. I agree. He had a very knowing grin. I actually had a good laugh with him about it. πŸ™‚


  6. I get the three handfuls thing too! But hey, I thought you were vegetarians? So what’s with the shrimp eating?

    Mrs. Abyss sounds like a fine woman!

    Oh, and I also want to apologize about my blog reading, or lack thereof. I’ve been highly distracted, but plan on getting caught up and back to usual soon. Or I hope so anyway!


    1. Lack of blog reading? You just busted us on the shrimp! Damn! πŸ™‚

      Yeah, fish and seafood crept back into the diet a few months back. The wife has remained hard core at that level.

      About two weeks ago I gave in and had some chicken.

      Then last Saturday night my wife took me to a restaurant that turned out to be a BBQ place! She stayed strong and had the portabella mushroom burger. I had the BBQ tri-tip beef and pork ribs.

      I know that makes me an abject failure. But I’m going to hang with her on the vegetarian thing as much as I possibly can. Beef is pretty easy to avoid. My weakness is chicken. Either way, one thing is certain: I eat a lot less meat than I used to and that’s still pretty good.

      Thanks for the comment! And don’t worry about getting caught up – no one wants to see your brain get warped!


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